Name That Emotion

From very early on children demonstrate and recognize six basic emotions: sadness, joy, disgust, anger, surprise, and fear.

However, children need a much bigger range of emotions in their tool box in order safely navigate the world. Appropriate actions and reactions require appropriate emotions. Wrong emotions illicit wrong choices.

Teaching emotions does not come with a lesson plan. There isn’t a top twenty list of emotions to teach your child that can be checked off one-by-one. Most children learn emotions they need in their environment. They learn emotions from interacting with friends and family. Here are some quick guidelines to remember:

Use your words: Young children are frequently reminded to use their words. Be sure your children know the words. When a child experiences an emotion, identify the emotion with one or two emotion words used in full sentences. Our brains use emotions to link to new learning so this is a great teaching technique.

Don’t prevent the emotion: As adults we can often see an emotionally charged situation before it happens. Resist the temptation to prevent these events. Let children feel sad, frustrated, confused, or hurt. These experiences are a part of life and learning how to survive them is an important skill.

Find emotions: Look for emotions in the world around you. Help your child to connect emotion words to the actions  of others. This works especially well when you a reading a story, telling a story from your childhood, or reading a Bible story. This helps children to see emotions in different contexts.

Turn off the virtual emotions: Young children do not learn emotions  from screens and for older children too much screen time eats into time  they could be  spending with real people. While there is no need to ban TV, computer, or game use, for most of us the time spent on these activities could be cut back.

God has blessed our world with many fascinating technologies. However, it is good to remember that He created us to be in fellowship with each other. That means we live, work, play, and worship together. When you put people together you get emotions – good and bad. Let God help you to teach your child to use those emotions for good.

Here is a Mind/Shift article on this topic.

Children: Words That Last

Procter and Gamble has their latest Mom/Olympics ad out and it is good one. The story smoothly moves back and forth between mothers responding to crisis situations and athletes surviving competition. The message is clear – parents build strength in their children by modeling strength during difficult times.

As Christian parents we can so much more than human words of strength. We can walk beside our children in their faith development and help them to understand God’s love and care for them. We can teach them that they do not have to depend on their own strength. Instead they can count on the strength of God.

Mom and Dad's words can be God’s Word:

“When in trouble the first thing we do is pray.”

In my distress I called upon the LORD; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. Psalm 18:6

“God’s way is always the good way- even when it doesn’t feel like it.”

This God – his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30

“God can, and does, bring good out of anything.”

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

“God will show you the way.”

He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. Psalm 15:9

“We can give our fears and worries to God.”

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Matthew 6: 33-34

Be your child's teacher today. God is with you!

Parenting:Efforful Control - Stop Must Think

Stop

Must

When I was teaching, I often used sign language with the children. It caught their attention and made my words visual. "Stop-must" was a great sign to use if a child across the room, or across the playground, needed to hear a quick and insistent "no!"

There are times when we parent were a quick "stop-must" is the best way to handle things. However, if this is the only way we teach our children how to behave, we are not doing a very thorough job.

Think

 Research tells us that discipline works best when it encourages children to stop and think. This tells the brain that the learning is important, and it helps to develop effortful control which is the ability to control behavior, emotions and attention. Effortful control is important to learning, building friendships and developing a conscience.

The next time you are dealing with a discipline situation try one of these questions:

1. Are you safe?
2. Are you learning something good?
3. Are you being kind?
4. How would you feel if someone did that to you?
5. What could you do differently?   

Taking time to teach these questions and to discuss things with your child will help to make your discipline more effective. Cognition + consequences will encourage good behavior.  

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 

(Deuteronomy 6:7, ESV)