Serve and Return with Jesus

My church, Faith Lutheran in Lincoln, Nebraska, is working through a unique family event this summer. Our Pastors are presenting a sermon series on parenting intending to cultivate resilient families. In addition to the sermons, we have special activities during the Sunday school hour designed to give parents opportunities to share their faith with their family. We are also sending home devotion boxes that provide a list of things parents can choose from as they teach the faith to their children. 

Because Pastor Will produces a regular podcast, I suggested we use this technology to serve the purpose of family ministry, too. This episode, called Serve and Return is the first in this series. Please give a listen and if you like it, pass it on.

As Pastor Will mentions in the podcast, it is not our goal to push guilt on to parents by giving a list of things that they should do. Instead, we want parents to see how God’s plan for parenting. God made parents the most influential teachers in the lives of their children. He also designed the brains of children to learn in spite of mistakes because brain development does not depend on perfect parenting. A child’s brain grows through interaction with parents over the course of the day, so a poor interaction, or a missed opportunity, will be balanced out by other experiences. We could say God created a child’s brain to be forgiving.

Serve and return is the name for those small interactions you have with your child each day. You might be giving a direction, correcting a behavior, praising, laughing, or sharing God’s love. Each interaction teaches your child’s brain what is important. The best thing about serve and return is when we weave faith into those experiences. We are telling our children we love them, teaching them how to live a healthy life in this world, AND showing them how God cares for them.

Growing your mind

Getting information about school out of your child is a pretty typical parenting challenge. “What did you do in school today?” is often met with a shoulder shrug or a report about a recess game. 
 

Encouraging children to talk about school is a good thing.  Such discussions encourage meta-cognition, which is a way to evaluate learning. Carol Dweck is a Psychology researcher and she has found that particular questions encourage children to think about effort and personal improvement rather than worrying about comparison. 

Children who think about stretching themselves develop thinking skills that help them to overcome obstacles and solve-problems. Growth mindset thinking not only builds a healthy self-efficacy, but it also reduces anxiety since in focuses on the hope found in learning and improving.

Try some of these questions on your next car ride home:

• What did you do today that made you think hard? 
• What mistake did you make that taught you something? 
• How did you think about your work and improve it today? 
• What problem did you work on today?

 These questions also work for faith thinking:

• What happened today that made you think about Jesus?  
• Did you apologize or forgive someone today?  
• Did you find someone who needed your kindness today? 
• What mistake did God help you learn from today?

 

Faith Resilience

This young man is both persistent and resilient. He is persistent in that he does not give up on moving a hay bale several times his size just because it doesn’t fly off the truck on the first push. He is resilient because he tries several different ways to tackle the problem, always noting his progress along the way. We can sense his satisfaction by the end of the clip.

It is easy to recognize that this is what we want for children. This young man will most likely grow up to be a happy, healthy, problem solver. This is why your teacher does not want you to prevent your child from experiencing any kind of struggle while learning. Struggle teaches lessons that last a life time – especially when children know they are loved and cared for.

We also want our children to have a resilient faith. The world in which they live is hard, selfish, and dangerous. We cannot include faith as a small part of our life and then hope for the best. Faith needs to BE your child’s life. When children are baptized they are brought into the family of God. The more time they spend with that family, in God’s word, the more their faith grows. The habits of praying before each meal, daily devotions, attending church activities, and actions of service toward others flow from a resilient faith.

A resilient faith is one that persists in the face of trouble and temptation. A resilient faith learns from struggle. A resilient faith rests easy in the love and care of God.

God provides us with so many ways to nurture the  faith of our children. Get started moving that hay bale. God is on your side.

Resources: For Sharing Your Faith All Year Long

Parents and children are busy – all year long. Even when the school year ends there are camps, sports, and family vacations.  The long lazy summers of my youth seem to be long gone. I can't believe I complained that I was bored!

In the midst of wonderful learning opportunities and family outings, I strongly encourage you to remember the blessings of what your church provides.  Your child’s faith grows because of the work of the Spirit. Look for ways to encourage that work. Here is how Faith Lutheran can help you.

Family devotions are a great way to help Bible learning to continue even when church attendance might be interrupted with travel and tournaments. A short devotion at the beginning of the trip or with mealtimes or bedtimes reminds our children that God goes with us. Here is a link to Concordia Publishing House and their easy resource of My Devotions. This is a subscription to an easy to read and understand daily devotion.  It even means some mail!

http://www.cph.org/t-magazines-mydevotions.aspx

 

Family Summer Sunday School is a new program we are trying for this summer. Many other churches have moved toward this kind of Sunday school for these busy months and we pray it is a blessing for you. Come to Sunday School at the regular time and come as a family. You will receive a kit that has everything you need to share a Bible story, learn a Bible verse, pray together, and enjoy your choices of an activity such as a craft or game. The benefit is to learn some tools that will help you share your faith with your children. Please register before or after church.

Vacation Bible School is also trying something new this year. Because more families find it hard to attend every day for a week, we are scheduling VBS for two all-day events on Saturday.  The first is for young children and the second for school age children. If your child qualifies for both he/she is welcome to attend both. Vacation Bible School gives children a chance to see God’s word in a different setting. It is also a natural way to invite friends and neighborhood children. Please register before or after church.

Barnyard Roundup

Saturday, June 4

9:00am – 1:00pm

Children ages 3-8years

“Unique yet united”

Camp Luther Outdoor VBS

Saturday June 11

10:00am – 2:00pm

Children going into 1^st through 6^th grade

Children: Faith Talk!

Can babies learn language from toys?  Research tells us, over and over again, NO!

In fact, toys that talk can possibly harm language development because parents talk less when the baby is playing with the noisy toy. Check out this quick NPR clip for an example of how that works.

The best way to for a baby – or an older child – to develop language is to socially interact with other children and adults. 

TALK WITH YOUR CHILDREN! 

This is how they learn language, social skills, and faith. 

Talk to your babies, your toddlers and your preschool age children every chance you get.

Don't stop talking when they have learned language. They will learn new vocabulary and concepts from you.

Keep up those discussions going so your teens will be more likely to come to you to discuss life and faith issues.