Be Available

Technology has changed our world. It may be for the better; it may be for the worse. It is more likely a combination of both. My concern is that technology has also changed the parent/child relationship.

Even a minor change in how parents and children interact will have major, long-reaching consequences. 

CHILDREN NEED US TO BE AVAILABLE

Infants need to learn language very quickly and to do this they need many tiny interactions every day. A coo needs a response from a family member. A cry needs some form of attention. Pointing to an object requires a meeting of the minds. Babies need to have interaction many times a day in order to practice and form theories about communication.

DON’T LET A PHONE GET IN THE WAY OF THESE TINY INTERACTIONS

Older children are learning about emotions, how to understand them and how to use them. They need many interactions with parents, siblings, and peers each day so they can learn this skill little bit by little bit. Children who spend too much time in front of a screen will not develop empathy and will struggle with the kind of thinking skills they need for learning. They may also struggle with peer relationships and with anxiety.

DON’T LET A SCREEN KEEP YOUR CHILD FROM DEVELOPING STRONG SKILLS

Even adolescents need interaction with parents and peers. They are learning about themselves in a new way and learning about important values that will guide their lives and decision processes. Adolescents who spend time with a screen instead of time with family and peers are at much higher risk of depression, suicide, and thoughts of suicide.

DON’T LET A SCREEN PUT YOUR CHILD IN DANGER

• Set personal rules about "phone-in-pocket" when your children are present.

• Set family rules that limit screen time and promote family talking times (car, dinner table, times of waiting, etc.)

• And have those important conversations with your teens about putting face to face relationships before screen time. 

WHEN IN DOUBT; PUT THE SCREEN DOWN

There is always time to learn about technology. NOW is the time to be a family!

Parenting: Technology

As an early childhood teacher of many years and a student of cognitive psychology, this picture makes me more than a little nervous. It is not so much what the children are doing - technology is a part of our world and they are exploring and learning.

What bothers me is what they are NOT doing. They are not moving around, they are not breathing fresh air and integrating sensory information, they are not talking, they are not playing with each other. All of these activities are essential for healthy development and learning.

It is interesting to note that when Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, was asked how his children liked the iPad he responded: "They haven't used it. We limit how much technology our kids use at home."

I am not one of those who believe that technology ruins brain development. I believe that technology encourages a different kind of development. 

I am not one of those who believe that technology stifles creativity. I believe technology can inspire as much creativity as crayons and paint - you just need to find apps that give the equivalent of a blank piece of paper instead of a coloring book page with lines. 

However, I do know that God's plan for how children learn has not changed because we have developed technology for even the youngest among us to use. Children still need to talk, to run around, to create things with found objects, to imagine they are someone else. They need to sing, shout, and argue. They need to make mistakes and get into trouble. They need to problem solve and learn to get past failure.

They need to play.

Technology is great, but don't let it replace childhood.