tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76439916517703509892024-03-05T17:43:40.881-08:00faithparentI have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 3 John 1:4Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.comBlogger134125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-2776607055296648472021-01-22T09:25:00.002-08:002021-01-22T09:27:35.001-08:00From Enemy to Empathy<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMiqi2xeW9B2-a-WsFAwnLSG357okNayTap50FgMeaJz6mUj76xlnueTuBdYV0nTtcsIyzMI_stM7FYuTB2A4Etp-5GiJ1LsCBTyr8N2LnIt1pRnXigE1nXoYVIn31dbktfcqgaDOK/s1200/17e503419c7a9104493972cdf8ed3299.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMiqi2xeW9B2-a-WsFAwnLSG357okNayTap50FgMeaJz6mUj76xlnueTuBdYV0nTtcsIyzMI_stM7FYuTB2A4Etp-5GiJ1LsCBTyr8N2LnIt1pRnXigE1nXoYVIn31dbktfcqgaDOK/w266-h400/17e503419c7a9104493972cdf8ed3299.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><p></p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I taught for many years in a Lutheran elementary
school, and one of the challenges was inappropriate language. We wanted
children to learn more effective ways of communicating anger or frustration,
but once a child picked up a four-letter-friend, it was hard to make a change.
Parents would sometimes complain that their child brought the word home, but
some soul searching often would reveal the opposite was true.</span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Why
do children learn so quickly the vocabulary we </span><i><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">don’t</span></span></i><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> want
them to remember? The reason probably has to do with the emotions behind the
word. Children pay close attention to what we do when we are angry, hurt,
surprised, or afraid. This intense observation is because children are working
to regulate these strong emotions. Their brains are wired to memorize and
practice these reactions to learn how to use emotions successfully.</span></span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This
learning method works well when we have the restraint to respond to strong
emotions by bringing them down a step. For instance, instead of reacting in
anger to an event, we express frustration. When we do this, we teach our
children to learn more subtle emotional responses. We are teaching emotional
literacy. These literacy skills help a child use emotions for learning,
analyzing, communicating, and socially interacting. Learning emotional literacy
also keeps a child from being used by their feelings. When children bounce
around from anger to fear, they do not work and play well with others. Those
who cannot regulate strong emotions are more likely to be victims of
misinformation. A strong emotional reaction prevents us from logically
analyzing information or its source. For children, strong emotions prevent them
from resolving conflict in positive ways.</span></span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When
children see a strong emotional reaction, it may leave them puzzled. Copying
and practicing this behavior is one way for a child to learn to understand it.
That is how things travel from home to the school playground. </span></span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In this highly divisive political climate, it is
good for us to remember this tendency for children to pay attention to how we
express strong emotions. The issues are important, and if our children are old
enough to understand, we should discuss these things with them. However, our reactions
do not escape the notice of even our younger children, and if they do not
understand the situation, they are likely to misunderstand the emotional
response.</span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Here
are some simple suggestions for navigating the current political climate:</span></span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Bring
it down a notch.</span></span></b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> Take
a deep breath before reacting to what you read or hear. Remind yourself that
God reigns over what happens in the world. Your children will see this and
learn that when we think best when we are calm.</span></span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Say
“no” to name-calling and assumptions.</span></span></b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> When children argue, they often resort to
calling each other names or using phrases like “you just want to . . . “ This
clouds the argument and makes reconciliation very difficult. In any dispute or
conflict, we need to treat the opposing side as human beings loved by God.</span></span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Fight
the “enemy.”</span></span></b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> By
this, I mean we should fight the</span><i><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> idea</span></span></i><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> of an enemy. Just as children are fascinated
by monsters, dragons, and dinosaurs, creating an enemy makes sense to them.
This tendency to create enemies harms their interaction with
peers. When children begin to understand a big concept like “enemy,” they
overuse it, and suddenly their friend becomes their enemy.</span> At this
point, conflict digs in its heels.</span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Even
if children do not understand conservative vs. liberal, they are still watching
and learning from how we react. In this time of their development, they need to
practice empathy and regulation. When we practice empathy we are not agreeing to the opposite political view, but we are recognizing each other's humanity, frailty, and value. Teach this to your children!<br /></span></span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Look
at this scriptural lesson on conflict resolution:</span></span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: medium;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If
your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him
alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. Matthew 18:15</span></span></span></i></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><span style="font-size: medium;">
</span><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span face=""Calibri","sans-serif"" style="color: #0e101a; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This
process requires calm emotions and empathy, and the result is brotherhood. We
may not reach an agreement on political matters, but we should never lose sight
of brotherhood. This lesson is a powerful one to teach our children, and we do
that best by modeling it for them.</span></span></span></p>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-45328048145579703692020-12-14T09:47:00.002-08:002020-12-14T09:47:45.724-08:00The Walk of Trust<p> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJt-ynWO9aQYxaMZQNA06XWZdtfVCTZsmBcQAkBT71Nh7rLShqTwqC6QHFOpMG35qeBJgPOp_cITNaD3B0mxV8w5cDht5Pp_mPWeJdOeEPF-NfpuOqH-sYYVvOBN8vLhZhN57xw0xK/s800/family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="534" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJt-ynWO9aQYxaMZQNA06XWZdtfVCTZsmBcQAkBT71Nh7rLShqTwqC6QHFOpMG35qeBJgPOp_cITNaD3B0mxV8w5cDht5Pp_mPWeJdOeEPF-NfpuOqH-sYYVvOBN8vLhZhN57xw0xK/s320/family.jpg" /></a></span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />2020 is nearly over, and many of us look to
the next year for a fresh start and an end to current struggles. When we look
at the facts about COVID and the time-table for the vaccination program, we
realize that in this case, hope is little more than a symbol. 2020 may have
brought the struggles, but 2021 will not allow us to leave them behind. </span><p></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">How do we muster up the trust to get
through what lies ahead? How can we teach our children to trust when we are
spent, and tired, and worried? How do we cling to the sure hope of the
resurrection when the trials and tribulations of everyday life crowd into our
hearts?</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Contrary to the secular notion of trust,
the trust of faith is not a partnership. It is not a give and take between God
and us. It is not true that if we trust, He will provide, but if we let our
level of trust slip, His strength will fade away. Trust does not depend on us;
it comes from God.</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Trust is not a partnership; it is a
surrender.</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text"><i>Trust
in the </i></span><span class="small-caps"><i><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></i></span><span class="text"><i> with all your heart,</i></span><i> <span class="text">and do not lean on your
own understanding. Proverbs 3:5</span></i></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Look at the about-face in this verse. First, we are told to trust in God
completely. Then we are told to lean not on our own efforts. This is surrender.
Allowing our hearts to fill with faith does not leave room for our
participation. We cannot do, or know, or be something that will make trust more
effective. </span></span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text"><span style="line-height: 115%;">So, how do we teach this to our children? We surrender by walking the
walk. We let our children see our God-given trust even when we do not quite
feel it. We do not have to understand. We simply obey.</span></span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text"><span style="line-height: 115%;">These verses from Colossians are bringing me comfort today. Look for one
particular repeated word.</span></span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text"><i><span style="line-height: 115%;">And let the peace of Christ rule in
your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.</span></i></span><i><span style="line-height: 115%;"> <span class="text"><sup> </sup>Let the word of Christ dwell in you
richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and
hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.</span> <span class="text">And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of
the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:
15-17</span></span></i></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Be thankful – with thankfulness – giving
thanks. And scattered in-between, we find other ways to walk the walk –
teaching, singing, loving. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Trust always comes from God. We cannot manufacture
it with our strength or in routines. However, when we walk the walk, when we do
the things that remind us of God's power, His plan, His love, then we can
surrender to His trust. </span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Consider some of the following ways to walk in trust:</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Thank</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Thankfulness reminds us why we can trust
because it points our brains in a positive direction showing us what is good in
the midst of what frustrates us. Find ways to make lists of the blessings in
your lives – big and small. It is okay to connect these blessings to the
recognition of struggles. We do not need to ignore negative emotions to be
thankful. Pairing the good with the bad is a reminder of how God is always with
us.</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Pray</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Prayer is a perfect way to connect
thankfulness to confessions of frustration. Make a point of creating family
time for prayer, praying together as a group, or praying with your children
one-by-one. Does it help to put your prayer in writing or does it work better to pray from the heart?
Could you turn your discussion into a prayer? Or perhaps create a two-column
list of items that inspire thanks and those that represent needs.Prayer is not about perfect words - it is about connection.<br /></span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Walk</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Walking in nature is a great way to be
thankful and quietly present with God.</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text"> Discussion is good, but so is a quiet time
for prayer. As you walk, breathe out the frustrations and concerns and breathe
in trust. </span></span><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Serve</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Thankfulness, trust, and service to others
seem to be closely connected in our brains. When we serve others, we remember
how God cares for us. Look to your neighbors to find a small act of service. Is
there a local charity that would benefit from volunteer work? Can technology
help you to connect to someone who is lonely? An anonymous act of "paying it forward" can fill the heart with delight.<br /></span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">Play</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">What brings joy to your family? Find some
simple activities that create good memories of this time. Reading together,
playing board games, physical activities, baking, or creating something through
music or art are worthy possibilities for finding family joy.</span></span></p><span style="font-size: large;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">God's trust is with us and is as strong as
His promise. When we work to clear our crowded minds of our own understanding,
we free ourselves to feel the trust He gives us. Teaching your children to do
this will be a blessing that will work in their favor long past 2020. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="text">May you
feel God's trust and find His peace.</span></span></p>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-46557497956407120292020-09-01T11:44:00.007-07:002020-09-01T11:51:34.733-07:00Facing the Next Wave of Covid Family Life<p> </p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaUX_DHJ0JY-C4QcnoJ6GW4zoWLkgVmX5N4VF3eIuFwhSxHTnSg81bMaRph5qQUbUlUsgzSD5Cvv6zANKDc6R-Z96Ondar-qUw-afTpZBj6or2nvwlo5p_J2RL1X-y5AfbuKLJwXpD/s273/wave.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="185" data-original-width="273" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaUX_DHJ0JY-C4QcnoJ6GW4zoWLkgVmX5N4VF3eIuFwhSxHTnSg81bMaRph5qQUbUlUsgzSD5Cvv6zANKDc6R-Z96Ondar-qUw-afTpZBj6or2nvwlo5p_J2RL1X-y5AfbuKLJwXpD/s0/wave.jpeg" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text">When Covid hit, and children came home for
remote learning, we all found our inner hero and rose to the occasion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We looked for the good in the situation,
joked about working in pajamas, and turned a room in our house into a family
work center. Psychologist Ann Masten says we went to our <i>surge capacity</i> to
survive a new crisis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A surge capacity
is a collection of skills (emotional, mental, and physical) that come over us
in a wavelike sweep allowing us to cope. Our surge capacity helps us use our
inner resilience. In this state, we get creative about problem-solving; we
activate our ability to find gratitude and the strength to ignore difficulty.
God gave us this capacity to get us through a difficult time.</span>
</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text">Our challenge now is that the difficult
time has become a chronic situation. Add to that the summer is over, and we
have new burdens. We have depleted our surge capacity, and the road ahead looks
daunting.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text">We are tired. We are tired of adjusting,
tired of creative problem-solving, tired of new covid news – even good news.
When we feel depleted, this adds a whole new level of anxiety to our thinking.
We ask ourselves, "How are we going to manage?" and for the first
time, we have no idea.</span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and
saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18</i></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text">After the reminder of God's grace, I note
in this verse that I am not the only one to feel depleted. The psalm writer
gets what we are going through, and God tells us He has a plan to address our needs.
I urge you to read the entire psalm and notice how the emotions gravitate from
one extreme to the other: crying to gratitude, hunger to blessing, affliction
to delivery, and peace. Covid might be a new virus, but what we are going
through is not new.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text">What are the tools God gives us to repair
our crushed spirit? How do we replenish our surge capacity?</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Forgive:</b>
Admit that you are not a superhero and accept God's forgiveness for your
mistakes. Teach your family to be easier in forgiving each other. Challenging times demand
we develop our grace muscles.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Grieve:</b>
As a family, list the activities and routines you miss. Write or draw about the
things you discuss and put them in a box with the assurance that you will
retrieve them. Save the box as a covid time capsule and remind yourselves the box will be opened some day.<br /></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Breathe:</b>
While taking time to practice deep breathing will help replenish our surge
capacity, it is equally healthy to do to your breathing outside in the
sunshine. Playing outside will reinforce the idea that there are still good things to
be experienced. When we are outside, we relieve anxiety and revitalize the
parts of our brain that help us to focus.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Create:</b>
At this point, it is hard to imagine we will ever forget this year, but so much
of what we are learning will be lost as we work to survive. Take time to
document your family's life in photos, stories, songs, and favorite survival
Bible verses. This activity will replenish your surge capacity for the short
term and provide you with memories to give you courage in the long term.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Help:</b>
Look for ways to help others because, in addition to the apparent benefit, it
also restores a sense of control and reduces anxiety. Helping others is an
excellent coping strategy to teach your children.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Study:</b>
It is always a challenge to find time to study God's word as a family. I
recommend diving into the Psalms. Highlight a verse or two and talk about how
it applies to your family. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text">Oddly, the best thing you and your family
can say is, "We can't take it anymore!"</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text">At this point, the point of giving up
control is when we can trust in our loving Father. </span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fear not, for I am with you;</i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> <span class="text">be not dismayed, for I am
your God;</span> <span class="text">I will strengthen you, I will help you,</span><br />
<span class="text">I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10</span></i></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="text"> </span></i></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="text"></span></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="text"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSbFtnOqDu-3lnR9KavhaRt2rNUhxgOudtAeZ_PKCb8r4pY2dPReTs1Dc9JlwuGRjMrxNUeGNt7W5ndBynDHHBPPpIBy93b8vnCV0DXQS-OSG0UzflKE7R5RNyO5aDrUe7cy3HnfrJ/s600/weary-joy-3D.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="470" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSbFtnOqDu-3lnR9KavhaRt2rNUhxgOudtAeZ_PKCb8r4pY2dPReTs1Dc9JlwuGRjMrxNUeGNt7W5ndBynDHHBPPpIBy93b8vnCV0DXQS-OSG0UzflKE7R5RNyO5aDrUe7cy3HnfrJ/w376-h480/weary-joy-3D.png" width="376" /></a></span></i></div><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="text"><br />Weary Joy: The Caregiver's Journey</span></i><p></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.cph.org/p-32540-weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey.aspx" target="_blank"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="text">Concordia Publishing House</span></i></a></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="text">Amazon</span></i></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="text">Kindle <br /></span></i></p>
<p></p>Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-50123507561256012582020-08-19T12:40:00.002-07:002020-08-19T12:40:51.065-07:00Pandemic Peace for Families<p> </p><p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTAEcv81jdXVlAvqAQYZPM0OvPvB-ziabysHxEBlK9cx0up41sZbI9Wppi53SuC0CMgCi9XqFGNrQ839KuW-100L4EXbJbTpYEa2udG6FgAuPIUDUCkkEblG-bJ3Nv8WkjhWAF7p57/s480/4-Tips-For-A-More-Peaceful-Family-and-Household.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTAEcv81jdXVlAvqAQYZPM0OvPvB-ziabysHxEBlK9cx0up41sZbI9Wppi53SuC0CMgCi9XqFGNrQ839KuW-100L4EXbJbTpYEa2udG6FgAuPIUDUCkkEblG-bJ3Nv8WkjhWAF7p57/s0/4-Tips-For-A-More-Peaceful-Family-and-Household.jpg" /></a></div>Who knew 2020 was going to expect so much from
families? We’ve had school at home, online church, sports cancellations,
staycations, and now challenging choices regarding returning to school. While
we find a ray of sunshine in the realization that the current pandemic does not
seem to be hard on children in terms of health, at the same time, we realize
that the emotional health of families has taken a beating. Many of the things
that help us to weather stressful times have been shut down or made more
complicated.<p></p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Situations
such as these are where resilience is forged. When our children experience
little to no struggle, they have little opportunity to develop coping skills.
This is the time to learn confidence in the ability to conquer disappointment
and obstacles. However, when a family is weary of restrictions, guidelines, and
stressful decisions, it is discouraging to add the already long lists of tasks the
one of building resilience.</span></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Coping
with stress and building resilience are two things we cannot teach our children
outside of a situation where they are needed. The brain learns these skills
when the times call for them. This current time calls quite loudly for the need
for resilience.</span></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It
would be great if I could write a post outlining the ten best ways to build
resilience. If this list existed, and it was true, then our work as parents
would be easy. However, we can’t merely teach resilience. Instead, we nurture
it through family time and family values.</span></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In
returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your
strength. Isaiah 30: 15</span></span></em></p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></em><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The
times we live in now require strength and trust, but they also urge us to try
to take control. As we work through decisions, we feel our sense of peace
diminish. We do not find peace in our strength. We find it in faith and family
fellowship. By repenting our need to solve the world’s problems and returning
to the trust God gives us, we begin to create an environment that not only
offers peace but builds resilience.</span></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A
family that nurtures peace and resilience will:</span></span></b></p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Focus
on what God asks us to do </b>rather than on what the situation demands. The
pandemic is in God’s hands. Through science and expertise, God has given us
things we can do. Once we have instituted these practices, we leave the rest to
God. In doing this, we change our parenting goal from the need to make every
decision right and instead put our trust in God. If we ignore the clutter
screaming at us from social media, we can better discern God’s plan.</span></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Be
diligent about worship.</b> Whether online or in-person, attending church feels
different, but it is still God’s word. It still feeds our faith and invites us
to trust. Your best tool to nurture resilience is to also look for faith
discussion opportunities at home. Daily devotions and nightly prayers are
wonderful, but so are car ride talks and Gospel reassurances at times of
struggle or discipline. During this challenging time, your faith dialogues will
connect the concepts of faith and struggle as part of brain development. The
discussion you have about trusting God, now, will become a coping strategy for
future troubles.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Look
for ways to come together as a family.</b> Busyness and stress tend to pull us away
from each other. We mistakenly believe that when we need rest, it means we need
time away. However, we build resilience in fellowship. When family members are
together, relationships grow. These experiences and relationships are how
children learn to cope with stress and trouble. Look for ways your family can
play together. Everything from board games to backyard dodgeball will provide
small problems solved by togetherness as well as good memories. Little by little, children learn that
God has given us each other as a source of help, comfort, and joy. Projects completed
together will afford the same practice and add in the sense of accomplishment.</span></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><b>Value
family discussion.</b> Children learn so much when they listen to and participate
in a family discussion. This is why research on family mealtime shows a link to
academic achievement. Children develop language skills as well as learn the
unspoken rules about communication and relationship building. Ask your children
to share their joys and concerns. Share with them your strengths and weaknesses
and create a safe place to talk and grow. These times are excellent
opportunities to slip in your faith, showing your children how your faith
shapes your understanding and your ability to cope.</span></span></p>
<p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span></p><p style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We
do not need to be perfect decision-makers to find peace. In fact, that is the
least likely path to take you to peace. Find ways to rejoice with your family – in
activity and in prayer. God’s peace will reign, and He will bring about good
for your children.</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say,
rejoice.</span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> <span class="text"><span id="en-ESV-29431">Let
your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;</span></span> <span class="text"><span id="en-ESV-29432">do not be anxious about anything, but in
everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be
made known to God.</span></span> <span class="text"><span id="en-ESV-29433">And the
peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and
your minds in Christ Jesus.</span> Philippians 4: 4-7</span></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></span><span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4AtetgLS_Kn-AE9BOJtPaIRPnSPjxE6QYMVv0-l6XH876OUQGU8fKHOQ8kLRIZ7dn3zVFAQ-yJJ63GtdiioXgM9sdCObdKtObGTXhd2X_9GAuq6VqidIqNSpepICyb7EPMqvjncC5/s600/weary-joy-3D.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="470" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4AtetgLS_Kn-AE9BOJtPaIRPnSPjxE6QYMVv0-l6XH876OUQGU8fKHOQ8kLRIZ7dn3zVFAQ-yJJ63GtdiioXgM9sdCObdKtObGTXhd2X_9GAuq6VqidIqNSpepICyb7EPMqvjncC5/w256-h307/weary-joy-3D.png" width="256" /></a></div><p></p>
<p></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Weary Joy: The Caregiver's Journey</span></p><p>By Kim Marxhausen</p><p><a href="#" id="https://www.cph.org/p-32540-weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey.aspx" name="https://www.cph.org/p-32540-weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey.aspx">Concordia Publishing House</a></p><p><a href="#" id="https://www.amazon.com/Weary-Joy-Caregivers-Kim-Marxhausen/dp/0758662009" name="https://www.amazon.com/Weary-Joy-Caregivers-Kim-Marxhausen/dp/0758662009">Amazon</a></p><p><a href="#" id="https://www.cph.org/p-32541-weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey-ebook-edition.aspx" name="https://www.cph.org/p-32541-weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey-ebook-edition.aspx">E-Book</a> <br /></p><p></p>Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-49603988253532261882020-07-02T12:55:00.000-07:002020-08-02T12:07:37.107-07:00Raising Children Without Racism: Simultaneous Saint and Sinner<br />
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<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #0e101a;">In the
previous post, I talked about how our brains create categories for concepts
(including people). The more examples each of these categories have, the more
comfortable we are around people who look, talk, or behave differently. This is
a crucial first step in preventing unintended racism in children.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #0e101a;">Racism
comes out of how we describe and understand people we have placed in a group
different from our own. The problem is we see differences and use those
differences to separate. There is no reason why we can’t teach children to see
differences, to learn about differences, to honor differences, and to welcome
differences into the group in which they see themselves. In other words, we
should watch to be sure our children are not creating an “in” group and an
“out” group. We want our children to find ways to include more people in their
group.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #0e101a;"> </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">The essential step is to teach children how to welcome
others into their circle of friends is not to teach them to ignore differences. But to teach them how to find commonalities amidst the differences.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">First, we recognize and teach that we are all sinners
standing in need of a Savior. Second, we accept and teach that we are all made
righteous through our Savior’s death and resurrection. As Christians, we do not
divide into the “in” group (saints) and the “out” group (sinners.) We are
simultaneously members of both groups.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">I believe in/out-group formation happens in the light of
two equally damaging situations:</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;"><b>I. Law without Grace</b></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">As a longtime teacher in Lutheran schools, I can attest
that creating an in/out-group does not have skin color or ethnicity as a
prerequisite. A room full of children who all look the same will find reasons
for some people to be relegated to the “out” group. I saw children so
designated because they were not wearing the right color shirt or sat in the
wrong chair. The difference in this kind of “out” is that shirt color, or seats
can be changed, whereas skin color and culture do not change. This latter kind of
“out” groups are exquisitely damaging because they exert power
and leave children feeling helpless to improve the situation.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">Jane Elliott showed this in her </span><a href="https://janeelliott.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #4a6ee0;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Blue Eyes Brown Eyes Exercise</span></span></a><span data-preserver-spaces="true">, where she convinced children with one eye color that their
group was better than other children. The results were quick and quite
disturbing. No one had to teach these children to hate. This was accomplished
by using law without grace. She taught them unfair rules, modeled in/out
behavior, and neglected to teach them how to love.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">I have seen elite “in” groups form in classrooms where
following rules and completing perfect schoolwork are the most important
things. This creates a group of successful children who feel it is justified to
look down on someone less successful. They begin to believe that they are good
enough and smart enough to save themselves. They begin to fear their failures
and instead direct that fear to those in the “out” group.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">II. Grace without Law</span></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">Likewise, children who are rarely expected to face their
sin or to atone for their actions will also create their own little happy “in”
group. They do not see their sin and consequently are more aware of the sins of
those around them. The people in the “in” group behave according to seeming
unwritten rules, who like the same things, who dress in the same way, etc.
These people must be good, and others must be bad. If you think your child has
never believed they have no sin, stop into any early childhood classroom and
ask for sinners to raise their hands. Then watch the children point to each other. All
of those children have been disciplined, but their memory is fleeting, so they feel
safer denying their sin.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">Grace and Law Together</span></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">When we use grace and law together, we raise children who
do not deny their sin, nor wallow helplessly in shame. We teach children to be
accountable for their actions, to repent of their wrongs sincerely, and to care
for others by working to atone for their sin. We show them it is safe to admit
to mistakes because our mistakes will not put us permanently into the “sinner”
group. Children who learn to understand their sin, apologize, and ask for
forgiveness will also accept forgiveness. More importantly, they will be able
to forgive themselves.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">If I can’t forgive myself, then I will do anything to
escape my sin. If I create a cozy “in” group that can follow a random set of
rules, then I can fool myself into thinking I am good, and the sin I see
belongs to others. The sin belongs to the “out” group. Once this happens, I
have even more justification for staying away from this group.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">The second blessing of learning repentance and
forgiveness is that your child will also learn mercy and empathy. A child with
empathy can imagine themselves in a fellow sinner’s shoes and is more likely to
apply mercy and forgive. When children empathize with each other, when they
understand that we are all saint and sinner, in need of and blessed by
forgiveness, the “in” group fades away into a blessed family of God.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">Martin Luther King, Jr. talked about the importance of an
attitude of forgiveness. David Brooks explains it in this way: “Real
forgiveness is rigorous. It balances accountability with mercy and compassion.
The person with a forgiving attitude expects sin, empathizes with sin, and is
slow to think him – or herself superior to the one who has done the sinning.”
(Martin Luther King, Jr. Sermon circa 1948) (David Brooks, </span><i><span data-preserver-spaces="true">The Second Mountain </span></i><span data-preserver-spaces="true">©2019)</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">Accountability without forgiveness and forgiveness
without accountability; both teach children to be cruel. Their cruelty comes
from trying to make sense of a world that does not balance law with grace.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">When
we help our children to understand the reality of sin and the joy of God’s
mercy and grace, we are making the in/out-group phenomenon much less likely. We
are also actively, and with the help of the Spirit, teaching our
children to avoid racism.</span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="text"><a href="https://www.cph.org/p-32540-weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey.aspx">Concordia
Publishing House </a></span><br />
<span class="text"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Weary-Joy-Caregivers-Kim-Marxhausen/dp/0758662009">Amazon</a></span><br />
<span class="text">
</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Weary-Joy-Caregivers-Kim-Marxhausen-ebook/dp/B07W59KRCN/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1569325379&sr=8-1">Amazon
Kindle</a></span></div>
<span class="text">
</span>
<span class="text"><a href="https://books.apple.com/us/book/weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey/id1475497006?ls=1">Apple
iBooks</a></span><br />
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Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-35239777615794655042020-06-16T13:40:00.004-07:002020-07-02T12:55:58.016-07:00Raising Children Without Racism: Teaching about Differences<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We often hear the adage that children learn to hate. While
it is true that children will learn to hate if it is modeled for them, this is
not the only way to learn racism.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Racism is sin, and we are hardwired to sin; children are no
exception. Because of this, it is not enough to refrain from teaching our
children to hate. We must actively teach them to love and accept others.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
An infant is born able to focus on the face of the person
who holds him. The pattern of eyes, nose, and mouth is one of the first an
infant learns to recognize. This kind of pattern learning is so strong that as
adults, we can still see faces in things that are not human.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
The brain sees a possible face, compares it to previously
seen faces, and makes a quick decision. As long as toddlers see more human
faces than sink faces, they will make a correct determination.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This learning technique of creating a category and deciding
what does or does not fit is used by the brain for things other than learning.
It can also be a shortcut to determine if an unfamiliar face is safe. If a
child sees only faces that look like hers, it is more likely that a strange
face will cause small anxiety. If children see many different faces, then their
category for faces will be large and varied. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhUYd0mpqttDJ4Y6Cj8q_R9vsWGhZgniPiTZpciH031WwbKE6OyOybugWrrMpBqAph_WgwB8g5OVQLZk8vGpC6hwViTPmEF1frYI-4b229Dvy6jF7FP0c9V3e7vRrPteRCQkopxWtK/s1600/baby+faces.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="190" data-original-width="500" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhUYd0mpqttDJ4Y6Cj8q_R9vsWGhZgniPiTZpciH031WwbKE6OyOybugWrrMpBqAph_WgwB8g5OVQLZk8vGpC6hwViTPmEF1frYI-4b229Dvy6jF7FP0c9V3e7vRrPteRCQkopxWtK/s640/baby+faces.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With many examples in the category, new faces will be more readily
accepted.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
This shortcut is called a schema. Schemas help us to think
quickly, to learn, and to problem-solve. But, they can also get us into
trouble. Schemas can make us assume things that are may not be true. For instance,
fill in the missing words in this sentence:<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is important for young ch ______ to have plenty of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>s _________ and good<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>f_________
for healthy growth. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your brain uses its schemas to fill in these words. It
pays attention to the grammar of the sentence and uses the beginning letter
clues to identify the right categories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You likely filled in these spaces using words
such as “children,” “sunshine,” and “food.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, this is a line of text from a paragraph about
raising chickens. “Sunshine” is a correct word, but the first and last blanks
are “chicks” and “feed.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Schemas serve
as shortcuts, but sometimes shortcuts point us in the wrong direction. If your brain had more categories that fit the term "healthy growth" it might come up with different answers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Schema thinking is a gift from God because it helps us to
understand things and make quick decisions. However, like everything else in
our world, sin creeps in and turns something helpful into a potential for sin.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If children have a small number of schemas, if their
categories have few examples, they will be limited in what they are comfortable
with, think about, or like. Children who do more, see more, and learn more will
have many schemas full of examples.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Think about what kinds of faces your children have seen over
their lifetimes. Do they see faces with skin color or eyes different from their
own? As a parent, think about how you can increase their exposure.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Literature- The photographs and characters in books have a
profound effect on schema development because photos provide more examples for
the categories of things that make up schemas. And stories show children how
different people work together. Seek out books, movies, video games and
other toys that feature people who are different. If your child’s everyday
world includes people who look different, speak a different language, or
accomplish things in different ways (e.g., moving in a wheelchair), these
differences will become familiar. Achieving this goal takes work. You cannot
let the world do this for you. It’s not enough to notice a different character;
your goal must be to make differences familiar.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Media – One of the biggest dangers of a lack of experience
with people who are different is when someone different gets attention in the
media for a bad action. As you seek to fill the life of your children with
exposure to different people, it is essential to point out the variety within
each group. The media tends to focus on wrong actions because that is what gets
our attention. Look for ways to find things to admire in people, so your
children become focused on looking for the good.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is equally important to
talk about the power of forgiveness. Children tend to define an individual
based on one wrong action – even though they do not apply that standard to
themselves. Children who have been forgiven and have been taught to forgive
will be less likely to judge an entire group of people by the actions of a few.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life- Literature and media have a significant influence on
our children, but not as significant as the way a family lives from day-to-day.
How often do you seek out new experiences with new people? Everything from
trying new food, attending a cultural celebration, enjoying music, and
worshiping at a church where you do not look like most of the people are all experiences that
broaden those schemas. The goal is not to ignore your family’s culture but to
appreciate it more when you realize that each family has their likes, rituals,
and traditions.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my previous post, I mentioned that an unspoken truth is
an untaught truth. This idea applies beautifully to teaching our children about racism. We do not do our children any favors by hoping they will not see
differences. Their brains are hardwired to make a note of differences and to
assign value to those categories. We need to teach children about differences
and how to value those who look different, like different things, and celebrate
in different ways.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our
likeness. Genesis 1:26a</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We do not know if Adam and Eve had dark skin and black curly
hair or light skin and blue eyes. We do know that God made all of His children
in His image. And just like Adam and Eve did not have to teach their son Cain
to hate, we know that sin has found its way into our families. Through the
power of God’s Word and the work of the Spirit, we can teach our children about
fellow children of God.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.omaha.com/momaha/when-talking-to-kids-about-protests-racism-this-omaha-expert-recommends-love/article_790c116c-50c9-53a8-8c15-dde05279eb3b.html?fbclid=IwAR1dBfPgkdIvdqr1kgOaI3nJBzBgJr0M0PrdmIICeY6iV8-3Z05fj57MzEY" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="https://www.omaha.com/momaha/when-talking-to-kids-about-protests-racism-this-omaha-expert-recommends-love/article_790c116c-50c9-53a8-8c15-dde05279eb3b.html?fbclid=IwAR1dBfPgkdIvdqr1kgOaI3nJBzBgJr0M0PrdmIICeY6iV8-3Z05fj57MzEY " border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="166" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghJy6jxHGL9W_YmH3mOnrZKxY4xRQzKJPoTXF4CF0ZGPokeOkbZODShAOAKs7BLTJyRh99z4IcuOcr_RuJnpBGqhumiDI14wvn71HnQ2fMMhOpkoULaOsY7yob5oe5r3plIb2dmW16/s200/Chatters+copy.png" width="147" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This Dr. Lawrence Chatters, the Vice President for Student Affairs at Midlands University. We were classmates in graduate school and I have learned much from his wisdom. Here is an <a href="https://www.omaha.com/momaha/when-talking-to-kids-about-protests-racism-this-omaha-expert-recommends-love/article_790c116c-50c9-53a8-8c15-dde05279eb3b.html?fbclid=IwAR1dBfPgkdIvdqr1kgOaI3nJBzBgJr0M0PrdmIICeY6iV8-3Z05fj57MzEY" target="_blank">interview</a> with him on the topic of children and racism.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span class="text"><a href="https://www.cph.org/p-32540-weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey.aspx">Concordia
Publishing House </a></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="text">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="text"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Weary-Joy-Caregivers-Kim-Marxhausen/dp/0758662009">Amazon</a></span></div>
<span class="text">
</span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Weary-Joy-Caregivers-Kim-Marxhausen-ebook/dp/B07W59KRCN/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1569325379&sr=8-1">Amazon
Kindle</a></span></div>
<span class="text">
</span>
<span class="text"><a href="https://books.apple.com/us/book/weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey/id1475497006?ls=1">Apple
iBooks</a></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk9LWVwcUrpJDophz568S_IeQ7eGRMgVKvNlY9xzgF78KIRPAMXN99MFIVtSHPdYLS6cBZcZmx8plwNOEedI7Hb9fjivDFlxOtop3XoWvDeaoVgoeDy39hrBnaxftPT7dMqY7FdJKo/s1600/weary-joy-3D.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="470" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk9LWVwcUrpJDophz568S_IeQ7eGRMgVKvNlY9xzgF78KIRPAMXN99MFIVtSHPdYLS6cBZcZmx8plwNOEedI7Hb9fjivDFlxOtop3XoWvDeaoVgoeDy39hrBnaxftPT7dMqY7FdJKo/s200/weary-joy-3D.png" width="156" /></a></div>
<span class="text"><br /></span>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-20474121645845555032020-06-05T13:01:00.002-07:002020-07-02T12:56:14.883-07:00Raising Children Without Racism: Talking about Violence<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1gnodF_YZYgcbJy8vHENIac4xBahWs1LTlmPOqtjJB6HWaSrNpecRNEsoFTDE6xP-cs8cZI_rmhq3tEqWRgGkYA2l4np9WHQNpFZQvGsMhYcTTVT1soiN_GIenpcI8bH49MphEgCb/s1600/talking.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="333" data-original-width="500" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1gnodF_YZYgcbJy8vHENIac4xBahWs1LTlmPOqtjJB6HWaSrNpecRNEsoFTDE6xP-cs8cZI_rmhq3tEqWRgGkYA2l4np9WHQNpFZQvGsMhYcTTVT1soiN_GIenpcI8bH49MphEgCb/s320/talking.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">How do we talk with our children about brutality,
protest, and violence without leaving them afraid? Because media is everywhere,
it exposes our children to news about scary things at younger ages than is
likely appropriate. We cannot raise our children in a bubble safe from
frightening truth about sin and danger in our world. Because our faith speaks
to these issues, it is best to vaccinate our children rather than shelter them.
When we vaccinate children in this way, we give them a small exposure with a helpful
discussion giving them learning to use in future exposures to confusing
information. Faith discussions will help our children see alarming situations
through God's eyes and His will for us.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<i><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But
we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have
faith and preserve their souls. </span></span></i><br />
<i><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Hebrews 10:39</span></span></i></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We
have the sure hope that Christ's death and resurrection have brought us into
the safety of God's family. Because of this, we can persevere in the face of
danger – our faith and our salvation are not at risk. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As
parents, one thing for us to remember is that an unspoken truth is an untaught
truth. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As
difficult as these conversations are, if we do not indulge in them, we leave
our children to find truth elsewhere. This result is not a chance we want to
take. We can also remember that difficult topics begin as short conversations
that grow with the child. We can concentrate on immediate concerns and address
other issues in future discussions. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Below
are some possible topics for conversation. Remember to ask for and listen to
your children's concerns and address what is on their mind. Let their thoughts
and questions be the guide.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Safety </span></span></b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When children see violence on media, they can
usually tell when it is fake and when it is real. They cannot always tell if
the violence they see on a video clip could happen to them. Part of your
reassurance is to fill in that information. If you are discussing the
protests that turned violent, let them know if they are happening close or far
away. Point out what actions keep people safe. Remind them that even when we
see bad things in our world, we know that God created a good world and that He
cares about the safety of His children. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Empathize</span></span></b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> Teaching empathy for a situation is not
about making excuses for sinful behavior. Instead, it is about understanding
another person's perspective. When children see people doing bad things, it is
helpful to go beyond the action to discuss what may be the cause. If children
see violence but only hear that violence is wrong without an explanation for
why it happens, they might make a false leap of judgment and be concerned that
this violence could happen to them. They are also worried about their own
intense emotions. Talk about what led up to the violence,
about what has made people afraid or angry. This can be done in a way that does
not condone or promote violence. A good discussion about emotions will only
positively serve your children as they learn to regulate their strong feelings.
There are good Bible stories to share about how God kept people safe amid
violence. Look at Joshua 2 and the story of Rahab and the spies, for example.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Read</span></span></b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> Check with your child's teacher or with
your local library to find good books to read on segregation. Reading stories
will help your child to see how the fear and anger build up over time. An
excellent place to start is a picture book: The Story of Ruby Bridges by Robert
Cole. Don't be afraid to cry when you read about what happened to Ruby Bridges
and how she responded. I cry. Every. Time. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Positive </span></span></b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">While it is easy to focus on the negative, primarily
when it floods social media, it is good to seek out the positive stories. Help
your children to see what people are doing to make things better by repairing
relationships and correcting past wrongs. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Pray </span></span></b><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Of course, we should pray for an end to violence,
for the safety of our family, and to thank God for His protection. God
instructs us to pray for our enemies, too. The protestors are certainly not our
enemies (thinking that way is part of the problem), but the sin of violence is
everyone's enemy. We can pray for God to help all of us when we are hurt or
angry. We can pray for all people, law enforcement, and protestors, who are
confused into violent actions.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I
am collecting some tools for future posts on talking with children about issues
concerning race. Just like talking with children about violence, learning about
the sin of racism is not conducive to one or two big lessons. It is more
effective to teach through many, many discussions over your child's lifetime.
These discussions happen best in the light of faith. Talking about sin is never
easy. When we face sin, when we understand our part in it, we find God's mercy. </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This is a truth that needs to be endlessly spoken.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "calibri" , "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. I Corinthians 14:33a </i></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><a href="https://www.cph.org/p-32540-weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey.aspx">Concordia
Publishing House</a></span></div>
<span class="text">
</span><br />
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<span class="text"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Weary-Joy-Caregivers-Kim-Marxhausen/dp/0758662009">Amazon</a></span></div>
<span class="text">
</span>
<br />
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<span class="text"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Weary-Joy-Caregivers-Kim-Marxhausen-ebook/dp/B07W59KRCN/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1569325379&sr=8-1">Amazon
Kindle</a></span></div>
<span class="text">
</span>
<br />
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<span class="text"><a href="https://books.apple.com/us/book/weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey/id1475497006?ls=1">Apple
iBooks</a></span></div>
<span class="text">
</span>
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<span class="text"><br /></span></div>
<span class="text">
</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA9oU57FlpFb3lr2LQeyi6yLEXA-13Px8Afva0i0duSrkvUEFTHn0nT_4eNnb4Gky0D45HhlVcvTyHmuRy75LCm0wgk8-iur9ladyYeCBqahPOChNxQKM-7xSR3mMO1YWKMKfwllMa/s1600/weary-joy-3D.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="470" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA9oU57FlpFb3lr2LQeyi6yLEXA-13Px8Afva0i0duSrkvUEFTHn0nT_4eNnb4Gky0D45HhlVcvTyHmuRy75LCm0wgk8-iur9ladyYeCBqahPOChNxQKM-7xSR3mMO1YWKMKfwllMa/s320/weary-joy-3D.png" width="250" /></a></div>
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Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-2718493122715619782020-05-30T14:15:00.000-07:002020-05-30T14:15:03.604-07:00Family Faith Sharing Activity: Seeing the World in a New Way<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-KPgr24Tbw" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-KPgr24Tbw" border="0" data-original-height="131" data-original-width="207" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB2t7s1-AERcKfzMxW1y-B4WGjZsaLXZJq4kd2QJZxMrVHiR-Io2LyXbVa_rrF-IeOrNNRbJyLxnB4Hzv8b7tNqvbllKgWEWrWVJ2L4L8Bg4d8RdAB0ZjzndWCXMGZWYCml_-rhbgl/s400/5-31.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-size: large;">Achi is a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-KPgr24Tbw" target="_blank">simple strategy game</a> that comes to us from Ghana.
It is tic-tac-toe with a twist and makes for a great family game.</span><br />
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">When I taught this game to my kindergarten students, I
remember watching as they discovered the need not only to pay attention to
their strategy but also to mine. They were sure to lose unless they stopped me
from making three-in-a-row. This revelation helped them to see the game in a
new way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">When the Spirit, promised by Jesus, descended on the
disciples during Pentecost, the disciples were able to see the world in a new
way. They now saw each person as someone needing to hear the Good<span> </span>News.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span></span><i>Go therefore, and
make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of
the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Matthew 28:19</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">
</span><div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;">Because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we can see our
relationship with God in a new way. The Pentecost story reminds us of the Great
Commission. Just as the disciples, we are to go and make disciples. We do this
in our families, in our church, and our communities. We are blessed to be a
part of God’s work.</span></div>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-86723771772983190692020-05-22T14:35:00.000-07:002020-05-22T14:35:06.003-07:00Grieving the Semester That Wasn’t<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqLO0bCiSLThUMyelNCQktBbffk7GDu6fPkEm9lM8w6_R7xjfbPtjUqs2APnKShIDvVm5NKEhu-qIYIPqhlHn7iC6dr2aYIUxXcx2lrtVZNFPtzjc7rAJOMEC7HBTgrGiKuIujVKRH/s1600/child_holding_hand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="463" data-original-width="750" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqLO0bCiSLThUMyelNCQktBbffk7GDu6fPkEm9lM8w6_R7xjfbPtjUqs2APnKShIDvVm5NKEhu-qIYIPqhlHn7iC6dr2aYIUxXcx2lrtVZNFPtzjc7rAJOMEC7HBTgrGiKuIujVKRH/s400/child_holding_hand.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If your children do not seem to “be themselves” lately, it
is wise to consider they might be grieving.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You would think that because God gave us separate emotions
to use on different occasions that the brain would be able to choose the right
emotion for the job.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We might think that – but we would be wrong.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My theory may not be official, but I imagine the brain keeps
emotion in a sack, and sometimes when it doesn’t know which emotion is
correct, it picks a random one and applies it. This phenomenon is especially
real for children who are beginners in the business of feelings. Grief may not always look like grief.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For parents, it is a good idea to frequently make a check on the
emotional expressions of your children to see if there is a hidden emotion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance, the school year has ended.
While this means family members no longer have to fight for computer time, and
parents no longer need to worry over lessons, it still does not feel like
summer vacation.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This year did not have the usual routine that helps
school-aged children to bring closure to the year. Your child may not have
mentioned missed field trips, yearbook signings, or special events that
typically replace the grief of change with good memories. And your child does not need
to be graduating to feel grief over what was lost. The brain knows that some
part of the end-of-year routine is missing, creating sadness and anxiety. The brain does not ignore grief, and it doesn't always understand what to do with it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Grief is a reasonably unfamiliar emotion for many children.
If they have not experienced the loss of a family member or a pet, they might
not recognize grief over losing end-of-year activities. And while this kind of
grief is not as intense as a family loss, it is there none-the-less.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because your child may not recognize this loss, this may impact behavior in much the same way as
anxiety. In other words, it may not look like grief.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here are three things that you can do with your child if you
suspect that grief is lurking behind unexpected or hard-to-change behavior.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Sit in grace</b>. While the impulse may be to immediately
correct the behavior, this is a perfect opportunity to spend some time in grace
mode. Some small things ask for empathy and reframing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I wonder if you are feeling sad about missing the end of
the school year? I think your teacher and your classmates feel the same way.
What can you do to help yourself feel better?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you see what we did there? This response correctly identifies the feelings of grief and points the child in the right direction for regulating -- or dealing with -- those feelings. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Wait a bit</b>. Some behaviors cannot you cannot ignore, but
most can wait until after a cooling-off period. Allow your child some time to
calm down and find his or her sadness. Talk with your child about grief before
applying a consequence. Often, once children realize the emotion that caused
the behavior, they no longer wish to repeat the behavior. If it is a persistent behavior, understanding the "why" behind it will help your child find a better way to express feelings.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Make connections</b>: When children experience a new emotion,
they lack an understanding of how to regulate it. Even if your child denies
that he or she is sad about the end of the year, it doesn’t hurt to make that
connection so they can gradually learn how to identify emotions and how to use
them more effectively. Identify grief as the reason for the behavior. Say it aloud and allow your child to talk about it and about what can be done.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is a healthy product of grief to do
something to remember what was lost, such as communicate with a friend or write
a letter to the teacher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An effective
way to explain this is to point out the difference between dealing with sadness and anger and doing things that make others sad or angry. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We want our
children to learn they can control their behavior in nearly any emotional
state. Once they can do this, their emotions begin to help them understand what
has happened instead of possibly working against their better interests.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>The LORD is near the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in
spirit. Psalm 34:18</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God in His providence gave us emotions to help us learn, to
help us make decisions, and to help us live and work with each other. Emotions
also help us to comprehend new experiences, overwhelming experiences, and
unwelcome ones. It is a gift to be able to help your children to understand and use emotions. It is a task with which God will gladly help. He cares
about your emotions, too.</div>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-90252181059871534392020-05-22T12:53:00.000-07:002020-05-22T12:53:25.494-07:00Family Faith Sharing Activity: Puzzles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypE083mMktM" target="_blank"><img alt="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypE083mMktM " border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglVmlmcasyN4Eqn7toWS7zKFS0PhOEpfSVxlOfv88V4RKUWto0Y4CCx1XthmM19d6A3y-8O-IvkDlBCXMl6gKUzJq3g6lMQgYJKSlHdLC2Yd5yljcfuB40HebZejUM_TMKoWix_MqP/s400/5-24.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Tangrams
are fun puzzles for the family. Some are easy, some are challenging, and
sometimes the youngest member of the family does the best work because he or
she can think outside the square box. Practicing these puzzles not only creates
family time, but it supports mathematical thinking, as well.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Puzzles
are more manageable when we know the final result. Tangrams can remind us that
God is bigger than the puzzles in our world. God understands the coronavirus
and mask-wearing and what is safe. God also knows when this chapter in our
lives will end. He is the maker of the puzzle, and He loves and protects us.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Cast
all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. I Peter 5:7</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This
verse is from the readings for this Sunday and is a favorite verse for many. It
is a blessing to be able to give our worries, frustrations, and confusion over
to Jesus and to rest, knowing that He cares for us in ways we cannot imagine. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Working with your children on any puzzle – or at any
other activity – allows you to remind them of God’s love and protection.
Whether it is anger, fear, worry, joy, or surprise, we feel the emotions God
gives us. Throughout it all, it is best to trust and thank Him.</span></div>
<br />
<br />Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-55430978666174264962020-05-14T14:05:00.000-07:002020-05-14T14:05:30.871-07:00Family Faith Sharing Activity: Protection<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxMnJKmf1Nk" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxMnJKmf1Nk" border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuUQMcISbFdNTv7_nEqUn1ba2I6PWoBCJaMHArp0aejFb5i5ObqCbmSaxAoWom5Aw7FzufPKH6crp_u0FS6TLbpi-BK-shTFCoNMbbaamVTGa_RwO4pIYrDfrwgOHzZVi41zup4dbb/s400/5-17.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
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like a good science experiment to learn about God’s world and our place in it.
In this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxMnJKmf1Nk">simple activity</a>,
we use a glass, a paper towel, and a larger container with water to see how air
protects the paper towel from moisture. It looks like magic, but it's science.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You know Him, for He dwells within you and will be in you. John
14:17</span></span></em></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">These words from Jesus to His disciples teach us about how God
abides in us and seeks to protect us as His precious children. We don’t need to
be afraid to be protected by a mask, or by staying 6ft apart, or by staying
home. We know these are all ways that our Heavenly Father protects us. </span></span></div>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-86331855404213574402020-05-08T16:14:00.000-07:002020-05-08T16:14:07.003-07:00Family Faith Sharing Activity: Cloud Dough<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex5wPEkQu0s" target="_blank"><img alt="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex5wPEkQu0s" border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgL8Ayox1Y0M3P4GL1ha2eJ_vdNDlpA30Kz7sUkn-wZUGUCukeTwuyfBooGeS5S_9MZb-CkS-XhJYunuAGGnpWv9yc6ThfVmiMm0thWUAsMttJ1pJQYN980twfZai1t8g5fmdQhArO/s400/5-10.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Is there a reason for everything? That is a question way
above my pay grade, but I do know that a powerful, loving God can bring good
out of anything. We may feel lost in the worry, frustration, and boredom of
this strange time, but God is helping us to develop skills that He will use
later in our lives. Use <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex5wPEkQu0s">this
family faith sharing activity</a> to make some cloud dough and talk about what it
means to be living stones. (I Peter 2:5)</div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">O LORD You are our Father;<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span> </i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">we
are the clay and You are our potter; <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span> </i></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">we
are all the work of Your hand. Isaiah 64:8</i></div>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-26267849972606782502020-05-02T11:00:00.000-07:002020-05-02T11:00:15.766-07:00Family Faith Sharing Activity May 3: Brain Game-Changer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EEkGJWGeWw" target="_blank"><img alt="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EEkGJWGeWw" border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXSr2uTMh_hSikpDBhWKD2hLiLgc5AUiYUtv6N7TIJspy98CggklK7VcoUyf-O4qhbRTuc-w13dhMJPhchQoavBEsyOmF7ni8FOiSekgAvcDUZw0N2c2LF9y8jgCRLnOYuRAMKBlwa/s400/may+3.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EEkGJWGeWw" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></a><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><br /></span></span>
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<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you are old enough, you may recognize the origami
fortuneteller in this picture. It is simple to make and fun to play with, but
in this message, we are not going to use it to tell our fortune. Instead we
will use it to choose an activity that helps us to move from our hot brains
(fear, anger, worry) to our cool brains (helping others, problem-solving,
learning).</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><em><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The
LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. Psalm 23:1</span></em></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Psalm 23 is a beautiful prayer that reminds us of
how God cares for us and protects us. When we are in a state of “I shall not
want,” we are content with the knowledge that we are God’s sheep. When anxiety
builds up and causes us to be angry, tired, and confused, we can take a brain
game-changer break and get back to a place of contentment and peace.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://freesources.marxhausen.net/pdf/Psalm_23.pdf"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Psalm 23
Challenge</span></a></span><span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As part of this family message, I am challenging
families to set about memorizing Psalm 23. It may seem daunting, but it is
quite doable for most school-age children. The link above provides tips for
learning the verses in fun effective ways. For each verse, I have included some
devotional thoughts, discussion questions, and a prayer. Every moment we spend
in scripture is time well spent as God uses this to increase our faith.
Memorization is a fun challenge, but it is not necessary.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I pray God’s blessings for families during this time
of upheaval. Times like these are when we depend on our families most dearly.
God is using these days to help you and your children to grow in many positive
ways. And yes, even on days when it doesn’t feel like it.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="color: #0e101a; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"></span></span>Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-51132678113099070552020-04-23T08:04:00.000-07:002020-04-23T08:04:22.025-07:00Family Faith Sharing Activity - Unconditional Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjxQDJdRaC8" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjxQDJdRaC8" border="0" data-original-height="138" data-original-width="246" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs3bMwgVmKqoQEWdDvsyh0V6dH3B_Ii-AJq4Ok7ehimRj0mSVKSQv9zp26Nxl7a8S6fX2GkEGVoXihRxCxEUlprxLDtHEKKpmF2iQxtktSnImF-FYcKe5RGYj3sWPpy35dvwJ2tlON/s320/4-26.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #0e101a;">The
Road to Emmaus may not seem like a strange story to share with young children, but
it provides us with an opportunity to talk about how Jesus is with us even when
we don’t recognize He is there.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">Using paper, scissors, tape, and a marker</span>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjxQDJdRaC8">children can make and
experiment </a>with an ordinary paper circle and a one-sided Moebius
strip. One paper loop can be cut into two, and the other remains undivided even
after cut.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">Connecting this to the bible verse about being surrounded
by steadfast love, we remind children that the love of God is unconditional.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">He loves us when we do good things.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">He loves us when we do wrong things.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">He loves us when everything is going well, and we are
happy.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">He loves us when we are sad or lonely or angry about what
we must do to be safe.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">God’s love surrounds us even when we don’t realize or
recognize it.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;">Spend some time talking with your children about how our current
situation makes you feel and makes them feel. Learn the Bible verse together
and remind each other of God’s unconditional, steadfast love.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #0e101a;"><i>Steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD. Psalm 32:10 </i></span></span></div>
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<br />
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-91120107376738629172020-04-16T13:10:00.001-07:002020-04-16T13:10:04.230-07:00Family Faith Activity on Doubting Thomas<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWu8oW1h4gY" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWu8oW1h4gY " border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhINT6HpoFvvC7KE66iKwv11EBvsDRfh8CLsneliQyj8D_F5HUeyvxtlAsCWN-xtAUeJLLI-S93m5I73c0T3gW2tZZ-m99iyemnsR-hC2PJ4aflGQ-_JmjEUcP7NSBLPFAe-MZ_ojVd/s1600/I+believe.jpeg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Using a glass of water and a drop or two of food coloring, you and your children can complete a simple science experiment that leads to a discussion about belief and unbelief.<br /><br />Why didn't Thomas believe his friends that Jesus was alive?</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">How did Jesus help Thomas?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What kinds of emotions are you experiencing with the new to stay at home rule? <br /><br />Are these emotions helping you, or are they crowding out your faith? <br /><br />Mark 9: 24 is a verse that works beautifully as a prayer to ask God to calm your emotions and let the faith He has given you rule your heart. </span>Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-70222819854973279132020-04-13T12:06:00.000-07:002020-04-13T12:06:03.315-07:00Covid Anxiety in Children<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG1UY7EJpt2ZcjffTw5KBB85odK2HgjWTougG88jUDSWK_gGSHHLpiJLgzNnIbOlP1lHVRO9a3qjWy7lLxzte-Llc8pjZ7lQGQSNLnTIkq-DgoaEUkv-hCzUOAFqJWbUFGi7tYptUv/s1600/Treating-Generalized-Anxiety-Disorder-in-Kids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="800" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG1UY7EJpt2ZcjffTw5KBB85odK2HgjWTougG88jUDSWK_gGSHHLpiJLgzNnIbOlP1lHVRO9a3qjWy7lLxzte-Llc8pjZ7lQGQSNLnTIkq-DgoaEUkv-hCzUOAFqJWbUFGi7tYptUv/s400/Treating-Generalized-Anxiety-Disorder-in-Kids.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The first few weeks of staying at home
were likely all about trying to find a way to make everything work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The world and all of our routines were
different and unfamiliar, but still a bit intriguing for children. There were
new experiences like school on the computer, zoom meetings with classmates,
parents at home. It was unfamiliar but not necessarily fearful.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now the difference has become the new
routine, but things are not as we would like them to be. The intrigue of the new
has given way to the frustration of what we cannot do. We would rather be with
people than see them on the computer screen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Parents are at home, but they are busy and stressed. At this point,
children begin to grieve the familiar. This is the time when anxiety rears its
ugly head.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">While anxiety often shows itself in
typical behaviors, it also hides behind other behaviors that might be
misinterpreted. As you live and work at home, now is the time to consider the
emotions behind their behaviors and respond with grace. By this I mean to
respond with what your children need rather than what they might deserve. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Signs of Anxiety</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When young children are seemingly
glued to your leg, it is easy to recognize that this is a symptom of anxiety.
However, if your children are short-tempered, defiant, more tired than usual,
withdrawing and refusing to do their school work, or looking for distractions
in all the wrong ways (i.e., being naughty or disruptive), these are also clues that
they are trying to cope with anxiety. Additionally, if they are bothering you
for small things or lacking the confidence to accomplish tasks that have been
easy for them in the past, anxiety may also be the culprit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The Why Behind the Behavior</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Our brains are all about creating
shortcuts. We love routines and anything predictable because with them the
brain can simply summon up a script for what to do, say, or feel. When we are
in a strange situation, we have to do more thinking, and that creates a burden
on the brain. In addition, if there is a chronic worry, such as the impact of
the virus, the brain must tackle extra work to cope. The behaviors that result from
anxiety are simply signals from the brain that it is trying to catch up. In
addition, when the news makes us stressed, or when we are around other family
members who are stressed, our brains are getting a constant signal for the need
for hyper vigilance . All of this creates a situation known as cognitive
overload. When the brain is in this state – the world doesn’t make sense like
it used to.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Schedule the Day</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The best way to counteract anxiety is
to create a new normal. Find a way to schedule the day as best you can so your
children know better what to expect. A child can better handle time set aside
to be free from interruption if you can assure them that it will be followed by
time to be together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Set your schedule
by alternating family chores, work time, story time, family game time, and quiet
time for reflection such as journal writing or drawing. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you are working from home, set your
phone alarm to remind you to do a quick check-in with your children at several
points throughout the day. You might find that periodically reaching out to
them will reduce the number of interruptions.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The benefit of such a schedule is that
you are teaching your children how to cope with anxiety in positive ways.
Spending time together as well as spending time alone in reflection are both
excellent ways to reduce stress. Don't feel bad about lowering your expectations on what will get done. Learning to cope is an important life lesson.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Share Your Faith</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When you take moments out of the day
to bring faith into your family routine, you are teaching your children how to
tackle anxiety and the lesson that faith is a part of every aspect of our
lives. How can faith help when we are afraid if we only use it on Sundays and
in desperate prayers? Think about what repeatable faith activities might
work best with your family: </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Are you comfortable praying together?
Even a short prayer such as “Dear Jesus, bring me peace. Amen” will remind your
child of God’s care when anxiety rears its head.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Can you choose a Bible verse to
memorize and repeat?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here a few of my
favorites:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>The Lord is my helper; I will not fear.
Hebrews 13: 6</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The LORD your God is with you, He is
mighty to save. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Zephaniah 3:17</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">May the Lord give strength to His
people! May the Lord bless His people with peace! Psalm 29:11</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">A family motto can serve as a strong
reminder of how God helps us to treat each other with love and understanding.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In this family, we show patience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In this family, we forgive.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In this family, we help each other.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Each of these small moments of faith
sharing will not only help to release some stress but will teach your children
how faith is woven into our every day life.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Grace</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">During times of chronic stress, acts
of grace shown toward each other are your most effective tool. It is not a time
when you can ignore work that needs doing or the importance of family rules,
but these things might need to take a second seat to sitting together, hugging
each other, and practicing forgiveness. When children learn to cope with
anxiety then they will be better able to learn other things. The world calls it
“cutting each other some slack,” but in a faith-context, grace<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> is</i> so much more and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">does</i> so much more. Grace teaches and
nurtures. Grace is living God’s love. Grace heals.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Doubting Thomas and Fear</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Disciple Thomas’ reaction to the news
of Jesus’ resurrection is an excellent example of the wrong way to cope with
anxiety (John 20). Thomas experienced great fear in watching the crowds go from
shouting “hosanna” to “crucify him!”in a week's time. His brain likely barely comprehended
Jesus’ death, and now his fear was impeding his faith and denying his acceptance of Christ's resurrection. Even when his friends
told Him Jesus was alive, he could not accept it. He tried to take control of
his fear and instead denied his faith.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Jesus’ response was to give Thomas
what he needed. Thomas received no reprimand but instead was able to turn to
his faith by touching the wounds of his Savior. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">During times of great difficulty, we
also have the opportunity to experience great learning. Pray, read God’s Word
and experience your faith with your children. God is most willing to give you
what you need.</span></span></div>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-13883996942629511412020-04-07T10:36:00.000-07:002020-04-07T10:36:03.681-07:00Easter Family Faith Sharing Event<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiIBcCnaTdw&feature=youtu.be" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiIBcCnaTdw&feature=youtu.be" border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVit4bmZgAbbT-9E09_NHXF5aGXATmnydxWWCNG5QEq6MPXflNXPvbj8dGLxeHqvBPrsfhuC90Xz3J0ChepMkrZNDYT4j-chhI_rEOfgBUVk-qLU4aoLI2bWAslunWR0j6_YxovB5G/s400/maxresdefault.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<a class="_e75a791d-denali-editor-page-rtfLink" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiIBcCnaTdw&feature=youtu.be" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;" target="_blank"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></a></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Teaching the faith at home does not have to be hard -- or dull! This week for children's message I prepared a message for parents with a short lesson on how to create a family faith sharing event.</span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">This activity does not have to be done for Easter but can be used whenever your family needs a fun break. Together you will make resurrection rolls that create a surprise that is easy to connect to the Easter story.</span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Here is the message pictured above:</span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a class="_e75a791d-denali-editor-page-rtfLink" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiIBcCnaTdw&feature=youtu.be" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;" target="_blank"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiIBcCnaTdw&feature=youtu.be</span></a></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Here is an easy version of the recipe:</span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a class="_e75a791d-denali-editor-page-rtfLink" href="https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/84289/resurrection-rolls/" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;" target="_blank"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/84289/resurrection-rolls/</span></a></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Here is Faith Lutheran’s YouTube page if you are interested in previous messages.</span></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a class="_e75a791d-denali-editor-page-rtfLink" href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_nG2R7cNLPoWiNiInieK_A" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;" target="_blank"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_nG2R7cNLPoWiNiInieK_A</span></a></span></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background: transparent; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Regardless of whether you are providing content for parents or are parents leading church and school from home, know that our Heavenly Father loves you, and He will work to equip you for this task!</span></span></div>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-76283809431748101562020-03-14T12:12:00.000-07:002020-03-14T12:13:45.008-07:00Explaining COVID 19 to Children<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_HsKIceeGBsDk_IETZWjggH_d0-xozCdK_RFU1GA0oo04Rsj900NpCr9Q3fSOG-abCGaW4XkKPftMUamE18juetEHG73ov0oZUpIuLi4zwx9Fki9pnXCY2R0lC_5D9rb06tvukoUZ/s1600/11-Things-You-Should-Do-at-the-First-Sign-of-Flu-800x450.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_HsKIceeGBsDk_IETZWjggH_d0-xozCdK_RFU1GA0oo04Rsj900NpCr9Q3fSOG-abCGaW4XkKPftMUamE18juetEHG73ov0oZUpIuLi4zwx9Fki9pnXCY2R0lC_5D9rb06tvukoUZ/s400/11-Things-You-Should-Do-at-the-First-Sign-of-Flu-800x450.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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There is quite a bit of information – some true and some
fake – on the news and social media about COVID 19. Here are some guidelines
for talking with children in a way that is effective and calming.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1. Don’t let your children hear you make light of the
situation. It is quite likely they have heard mixed messages about the
pandemic, and hearing you joke about it will only add to their confusion.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2. When talking with your children, refrain from dismissing
the situation as nothing to worry about. Instead, be calm and honest in your explanation. For a child, a good explanation will not increase fear, but will
instead, answer it. By explaining the situation you will be showing them that
they can trust you and trust God.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3. Answer their questions and explain COVID 19
matter-of-factly. Give the simplest definition and add to that if you feel your
child is old enough to understand more. Here is a good beginning:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><i>COVID
19, sometimes called the coronavirus, is a sickness like a cold that can make
some people sicker than others. Healthy people get the virus by being close to
sick people. We can also get the germs by touching things and putting our hands
near our mouth or nose without washing them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The best thing we can do is wash our hands and send the germs down the
drain. To help us keep safe, doctors and others who know about this kind of sickness
are asking us to stay at home and away from large groups of people.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here is a simple video to explain hand-washing:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJG72sycQB8">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJG72sycQB8</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4. Children will be confused by the changes in routine such
as not attending school, childcare, or church or parents staying home from
work. When you explain the reasons for this change, begin your explanation with
the words “to keep us safe.” These words will help your child to understand
that no one is being punished for being sick and that these changes are not a reaction to fear. Being reminded about safety will
also help to reduce the anxiety that comes from a change in routine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5. If you are not sick, look for ways to increase your
interaction time with your children. They will likely need more hugs and
conversations with you, as this will remind them of what is familiar. Rather
than each family member going off to a separate room, think of ways to bring
everyone together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6. Pray together. Talk about how God is bigger than
sickness. Remind them that God loves them and cares about them. Point out that
the changes in routine, as well as hand washing, are ways that God is keeping us
safe. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we focus on what keeps us safe instead of the danger, and when we
teach children that God is in control, we are able to use a challenging
situation to cultivate resilience.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God’s blessings to you as you navigate COVID 19. Here is a
verse of comfort for you and your children:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">In
peace I will both lie down and sleep;</i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> <span class="text">for you alone, O </span><span class="small-caps"><span style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></span><span class="text">, make me dwell
in safety. Psalm 4:8</span></i></div>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-85810034336728278362020-01-08T10:29:00.000-08:002020-01-08T10:29:30.723-08:00The Serious Work of Role-Play<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Role-play
activities at home and school are significant learning times. Children are
developing brain skills that allow them to pay attention, remember rules, and
problem– solve. These skills are known as executive function skills, and they
are essential for any learning.</span>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In role-play
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>activities, children develop language
and social skills. These are not skills learned in a circle-time lesson.
Children learn language and social skills by interacting with other people.
Role-play allows children to try new words and behaviors to get feedback from
their peers. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Role-play
also allows children to practice particular emotion-driven behaviors such as
creating, fixing, nurturing, and teaching. These are also basic building blocks
of future learning and work. Again, these cannot be taught with worksheets at
tables. Instead, children learn through experiment, practice, and interaction.
Role-play might be the most critical part of a young child’s day!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It is also
essential to look at what role play does NOT do. It does not predict what a
child will be interested in at a later date. Young children try on many
different roles to learn from them and to see what fits and what doesn’t fit.
My daughter loved playing with trucks and wearing construction hard-hats. As a
three-year-old, when we passed road crews, she insisted that was what she
wanted to be when she grew up. I did not put too much stock in this as I knew
she also wanted to be a mermaid. As an adult, she is an elementary music and
art teacher. However, playing with building toys and fixing toys as a child may
have encouraged her to be interested in tools. She is the person in her family
who is most likely to make a house repair, and I am proud to see that.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Role-play
also does not push a child in a particular direction. It is not an indicator of
gender confusion, nor will it encourage it. My son played with his sister’s
dolls and dress-up clothing. He tried on many different roles, but it did not
mess with his understanding of who God created him to be. I like to think that
he practiced the skills of nurturing, which put him in a good position as a
school IT person. He has infinite patience working with teachers and students
when computers don’t work. I know this because I am one of those teachers.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When boys
play with what we typically consider to be girlish toys or when girls play
within boy dominated play areas, we might be tempted to worry that they are
confused about their gender. In fact, true gender dysphoria is very rare and
shows itself in much stronger symptoms. When children play, they are learning
and growing, testing and trying, and developing in the way God designed their
brains to mature.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Especially
in a world where screens around every turn tempt children, role play is more
important now than ever before. Parents and teachers should encourage
role-play, as well as other play that involves children interacting with each
other at every opportunity.</span></div>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-69535006021835567472019-08-26T14:28:00.000-07:002019-08-26T14:51:03.467-07:00Reward Right<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEFDLWRzWgoOUQ2JtMA2O3RRf2ZDZLHwDjRNmhP-wIO40i8KEjsK_2sRrE16h1UeDdQ2mUxRUQhnBN7An1ndfaNJqlcM9MNUXMIBKeqHXWPgJ_TTyt3JGmUVr0810uYO-72TsUsCGn/s1600/bake-for-family-fun-month-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEFDLWRzWgoOUQ2JtMA2O3RRf2ZDZLHwDjRNmhP-wIO40i8KEjsK_2sRrE16h1UeDdQ2mUxRUQhnBN7An1ndfaNJqlcM9MNUXMIBKeqHXWPgJ_TTyt3JGmUVr0810uYO-72TsUsCGn/s400/bake-for-family-fun-month-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Using rewards is a
common parenting technique and one that can work quite well.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It is important
to remember to use rewards sparingly so that you don't train your child only to
do things when there is a reward. Many of the things you want to teach
your child are life lessons such as compassion, conscientiousness, generosity,
and faith-building. If you reward these things, you run the risk of destroying
their natural desire to do them. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Likewise, if we always
reward a child with a reward that they may like, but one that may not offer any
other benefits, we are missing the opportunity to do more. For instance,
rewarding a child with video game time gives them only passive
entertainment. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Consider some of these
options of things to do <i>with you</i> that provide a reward and also some
physical or social-emotional health benefits:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">1. Baking</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">2. Reading a book </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">3. Playing a game
outside</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">4. Completing a puzzle</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">5. Attending a play</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">6. Building, sewing,
or creating something</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">7. Doing something
kind for a neighbor</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">8. Contacting a grandparent for a visit</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">9. Surprising a parent or sibling with a note they will find later.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">10. Creating something to give to friends </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When we interact with
our children, we improve their language, emotional regulation, and social
skills. We also have the opportunity to share our faith. These small
interactions will build a strong relationship with our child that will reap
benefits long after the video game has been forgotten. </span><br />
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span>
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<b><span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Weary Joy: The Caregiver’s
Journey</span></b></div>
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<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Concordia Publishing House</span></div>
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<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Available September 24, 2019 </span></div>
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<a href="https://www.cph.org/p-32540-weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey.aspx" target="_blank"><img alt="https://www.cph.org/p-32540-weary-joy-the-caregivers-journey.aspx" border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="470" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl5KpaWDkzLL5b760YlmnBP7_OBuPyhQ6wLF3NuEYmsZRI6jziuWVNhl2es9SPccECz0lTdhGpNfZ8dX9dnP2WB8MjKg4hsHGH5uG_n2gyU1FeggBEiH0izmoez_HVL2jPRtVhx7yz/s200/weary-joy-3D.png" width="156" /></a> </div>
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<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Words of humor,
encouragement, and faith for those who care for a loved one.</span> </div>
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<br />
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<![endif]-->Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-85955692893492942772019-07-30T07:21:00.003-07:002019-07-30T07:21:56.337-07:00Growth Mindset Podcast<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<img border="0" data-original-height="417" data-original-width="666" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8wEzAMCK_MMyUlp1hcrO1pG4XCmhDU0VNeZPQ0J31iWFRhHEAlagmR42hTDQMUXp9mWU7CBn9Nw3JstlePJ9irDsBOjpCYxmCeHHFVoXp-ZMxEsYPosSzUeYftVg8jg1VuEZhN2mM/s640/1+PQBc8JCD5yu4x2wxCCGU1g.png" width="640" /></div>
<br />
In <a href="http://www.faithlutheranpodcast.libsyn.com/" target="_blank">this</a>, the last of our series of podcasts on Cultivating Resilient Families, Pastor Will and I talk about baseball, hospitals, forgiveness, and how to grow from mistakes that are dealt with instead of hidden. What a wonderful blessing that repentance and forgiveness cultivate a growth mindset in our children.<br />
<br />
Thank you to Pastor Gary and Pastor Will at <a href="http://www.faithlincoln.org/" target="_blank">Faith Lutheran Church, School, and Touching Hearts Child Development Center</a> for supporting parents in the most important work of raising their children in the faith.Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-7820727753399886842019-07-26T10:41:00.001-07:002019-07-26T10:41:44.416-07:00Cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://faithlutheranpodcast.libsyn.com/cultivating-resilient-families-episode-3-attitude-of-gratitude" target="_blank"><img alt="http://faithlutheranpodcast.libsyn.com/cultivating-resilient-families-episode-3-attitude-of-gratitude" border="0" data-original-height="683" data-original-width="1024" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-4BgFCwSwCxJP2K4FZMbymrgwnDz-Yhr6E7xbJzMjvSN1-Y2WCHaNyn7k0SVLmeimwYtjr9I8IliJU9O9LoigUhlSM41flMCkTKzHbNugWbS3AGKC8cGP1YpJjX6NYyBdcCU5-7BI/s400/gratitude-rock.jpg" width="400" /> </a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: large;">Here is the <a href="http://faithlutheranpodcast.libsyn.com/cultivating-resilient-families-episode-3-attitude-of-gratitude" target="_blank">link</a> to the third episode in the podcast series on Cultivating Resilient Families sponsored by Faith Lutheran Church in Lincoln, Nebraska. In this 30 minute discussion Pastor Will Miller and I talk about teaching children to find the blessings in life. As it turns out, the mindset of gratitude will bring back even more blessings for your child. God is good!</span><br />
<br />Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-63519048543230378282019-07-08T09:28:00.001-07:002019-07-08T09:28:46.657-07:00Parenting with Law and Grace<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://faithlutheranpodcast.libsyn.com/cultivating-resilient-families-episode-2-law-and-grace" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="http://faithlutheranpodcast.libsyn.com/cultivating-resilient-families-episode-2-law-and-grace" border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1313" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaQFxboDM0broBMjCkfy5cNQQyHmcmE9c8Q9gTc2J2y4GdiCzcrRQDuX27tlkKpSU7gMgp5d8dzmOFTG8irVy4XB8RNIB6jswDEoJAiEHmlso7MMaprk29wRzFeG6qGBoFFdm8nNO_/s400/Shure_mikrofon_55S.jpg" width="327" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">Here is the <a href="http://faithlutheranpodcast.libsyn.com/cultivating-resilient-families-episode-2-law-and-grace">second
podcast</a> in a series called Cultivating Resilient Families. In this podcast,
Pastor Will Miller and I explore the topic of best practices in parenting. We
discuss how there is no one right way to raise a child because our children
teach us what they need. We also discuss the importance of law (expectations)
and grace (responsiveness) in our everyday dealings with our children.</span></span></div>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-55113147543797409092019-06-27T08:38:00.000-07:002019-06-27T08:38:44.714-07:00Serve and Return with Jesus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://faithlutheranpodcast.libsyn.com/cultivating-resilient-families-episode-1-serve-and-return" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="http://faithlutheranpodcast.libsyn.com/cultivating-resilient-families-episode-1-serve-and-return " border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="792" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwHMcRdHBpOibYHFWiKs3fS4XfHyqW2V8xWHGTfXs-89h8dw0QEeylItzGq1Afg76N9-HB-per2D0K3OW_jJeQXjizIQwmQNbcojgPoh4k8OjGFxtxNZttNBBUvzorA7vf8dYZI9ME/s400/RootedInFaithLogo-glow.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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My church, Faith Lutheran in Lincoln, Nebraska, is working
through a unique family event this summer. Our Pastors are presenting a sermon
series on parenting intending to cultivate resilient families. In addition to
the sermons, we have special activities during the Sunday school hour designed
to give parents opportunities to share their faith with their family. We are
also sending home devotion boxes that provide a list of things parents can
choose from as they teach the faith to their children. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because Pastor Will produces a regular podcast, I suggested
we use this technology to serve the purpose of family ministry, too. This
episode, called <a href="http://faithlutheranpodcast.libsyn.com/cultivating-resilient-families-episode-1-serve-and-return">Serve
and Return</a> is the first in this series. Please give a listen and if you
like it, pass it on.</div>
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<br /></div>
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As Pastor Will mentions in the podcast, it is not our goal
to push guilt on to parents by giving a list of things that they should do.
Instead, we want parents to see how God’s plan for parenting. God made parents
the most influential teachers in the lives of their children. He also designed
the brains of children to learn in spite of mistakes because brain
development does not depend on perfect parenting. A child’s brain grows through
interaction with parents over the course of the day, so a poor interaction, or
a missed opportunity, will be balanced out by other experiences. We could say
God created a child’s brain to be forgiving.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Serve and return</i>
is the name for those small interactions you have with your child each day. You
might be giving a direction, correcting a behavior, praising, laughing, or
sharing God’s love. Each interaction teaches your child’s brain what is
important. The best thing about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">serve and
return</i> is when we weave faith into those experiences. We are telling our
children we love them, teaching them how to live a healthy life in this world,
AND showing them how God cares for them.</div>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7643991651770350989.post-43083915473249883782019-03-15T14:26:00.001-07:002019-03-15T14:26:12.795-07:00Some Thoughts on Autism, Vaccinations, and Screens<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0srXPeocBkgCDYm-fAzhyphenhyphenOPTiQIOxw3D9FPIQfNb-delCgZQ8djDTRUj1le5sTsh9nolUfrTMkuZ_u3MKZMxv3jyfRHkt_xRw8BTJxXwqvn6r_BlccwqOCvbnCPTQeEI1vuKStbYS/s1600/baby-phone-crave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="648" data-original-width="970" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0srXPeocBkgCDYm-fAzhyphenhyphenOPTiQIOxw3D9FPIQfNb-delCgZQ8djDTRUj1le5sTsh9nolUfrTMkuZ_u3MKZMxv3jyfRHkt_xRw8BTJxXwqvn6r_BlccwqOCvbnCPTQeEI1vuKStbYS/s320/baby-phone-crave.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I recently read an article talking about the massive
increase in diagnoses of children on the autism spectrum. The numbers have been
climbing – more like skyrocketing – for the last few years. There are more than
likely a number of reasons contributing to this increase:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
NO, it is not due to vaccinations. While the misleading
information on this issue looks so slick and convincing, it is merely designed to bring parents to the point of fear. Here is how I know that
vaccines DO NOT cause autism. MULTIPLE studies that checked for a correlation
between the two show that children who are <i>not vaccinated are just as often
diagnosed with autism</i> as those who are vaccinated. It does not matter what
theories are proposed – the relationship is not there.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some reasons for the increase have to do with definitions of autism and awareness, but a new intriguing theory suggests we might be
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">creating</i> some autism symptoms
by exposing children to activities that delay their language and
social-emotional development. These activities primarily involve screens. In
fact, in some countries, when a child receives an autism diagnosis, the first
therapy is to reduce screen use for the child as much as possible. This often
reduces the symptoms to a point where the child requires little additional therapy.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reason screen usage might be contributing to the symptoms
of autism is that it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">prevents</i>
children from engaging with other humans, and that is how children develop both
language and social-emotional skills.(Deficits in these two areas are markers for autism.) Playing video games and watching YouTube
will make your child good at screens, but will not help them to be better with
communication or relationships.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am NOT suggesting that keeping your child from screen use
will prevent autism.There is no reason to believe screen use causes autism -- just that it might make some of the symptoms more likely.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am NOT suggesting that you ignore an autism spectrum
diagnosis and just reduce screen time.We will leave diagnosis to the experts and trust their suggestions for therapy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, I do feel comfortable telling parents that reducing
screen time will not, in any way, hurt your child.If children never see a
computer until school age, they will pick up the skills without a problem. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I do know that if children do not develop communication skills, social
skills, or emotional regulation skills in a timely manner, they will have big
problems not only with relationships but also with anxiety and learning.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My advice? Get your children vaccinated and rethink your
screen use and your child’s screen use. Let them learn how to be a human,
first. Let them learn the way God designed their brains. We cannot improve on that.</div>
Kim Marxhausenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07268698483800616758noreply@blogger.com0