Is Siri Smarter than a Parent?

At first glance it appears that this little girl is holding a conversation with a phone. She talks to Siri and is delighted when Siri talks back. She even understands what is said and responds appropriately.

It might be easy to assume that this child is developing language skills by interacting with a phone.

Nope.

Take another look at the video. After each time she interacts with Siri, she tells her parents about it. She has to interpret what is said as if her parents didn’t hear. Her actions of playing with the phone fit into a separate world than her conversation with her parents. The phone may be amazing, but it is not worthy of real conversation.

Our children want, and need, our real conversation. The kind of conversation that happens when you are telling a story, answering  a question, analyzing the school day, helping with homework, reading or working together. 

This conversation develops language skills, social skills, and thinking skills. Not to mention the fact that you are building up serious relationship points that you will want to have banked for when your child becomes an adolescent. A teenager will be more likely to talk with a parent who has spent previous years in conversation. Talks between teenagers and parents can make all the difference on the trajectory of the life of an adolescent.

Voice command technology, such as Siri and Alexa have much potential to change the way we live our lives, but they will never replace conversation between parent and child. It's one thing to let Google Home answer a tough science question. It's a totally different thing to let Siri be the one to say "I love you" to your child. Nothing replaces a parent.

Talk to your child; even if you don’t know all the answers. This is how you share yourself. This is how you share your faith and your values. This is how your child grows into the adult he or she is meant to be.

Parenting: Noise

Children make noise. You did not need me to tell you that. 

Children make plenty of noise as they explore, play, and interact. In fact, they often find it a challenge to even come through a door without making noise.

Yet, noise is not necessarily good for children. The problem is not the noise of the slamming door, or excited argument. The noise problem for children is background noise that adults have learned to tune-out.

One part of the learning brain is called sensory memory. The function of sensory memory is to take in all sensory information and filter out what is not important. From adolescence on this part of our brain is fairly strong in its ability to filter out useless noises and tune in on speech. 

Yeah, I realize I just said adolescents are good at hearing voices over background noise, however, this does not include a promise that they are interested in listening.

For younger children this ability is not yet fully developed. It is harder for them to hear family conversation, for instance, while a television is playing in the background. For young children, still learning language this is especially important. As adults, if we miss a word due to a noise, our brains are able to fill it in and we continue with the conversation. Young children have more difficulty filling in missing words and often get off track which leads them to drop attention.

If children do not learn to pay attention to speaking voices it will harm their ability to learn.

Please consider turning off the television, (or the video player in the car). Replace this noise with good conversation that promotes language development and family relationships.

Turn off unnecessary media to help children give their full attention to conversation. 

As much as possible, maintain eye contact when speaking.

Make sure your children know that when they hear their name they should turn and look at the speaker. Do this gently as if there is background noise, children may not have heard their name spoken.

Read and talk with children to develop language.

All of these things will help your child to listen better and pay better attention in school, at home, in conversations with friends, and at church.

All bets are off with teenagers, though.

 

And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. I Kings 19: 11-12

Parenting: Conversation

Conversation is a dying art. Families are busy and surrounded by media. Yet, children need family conversation to develop as human beings and as Christians. Here are the top five reasons for making a point to engage in conversation with your children:

1.      Build relationships: discuss those small events now, so there is a foundation for discussing big events in adolescence.

2.      Build language skills: children learn vocabulary and grammar in conversation. Words first heard around the dinner table will be easily decoded in reading and remembered for a test.

3.      Build social skills: taking turns in conversation, finding interest in another person’s story, hearing stories about parents as a child are all things that build social skills.

4.      Sharing faith: integrating the faith into a story or a question is a great way to share why faith is important to every aspect of our lives.

5.      Sharing morality: asking questions about tough situations promotes good moral development as children reason with adults who share their faith.

Don’t let conversation be a dying art. I recommend establishing a couple of media free zones. The dinner table is a perfect example. Use this time to share, build, and learn about each other.

I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy may be complete. (II John 12b, ESV)

Parenting: Conversation

We talk with our children over the course of the day but rarely think about the learning in those conversations, even in the conversations with the young ones. Watch this clip and think about the lessons this little one is learning because of the care and patience her mother has in talking with her.

Here are a few of the lessons learned:

1. Wendy is learning vocabulary that helps her to express emotions such as love, tiredness, fear, and calm.

2. She is developing what is called theory of mind - an understanding that her thoughts and feelings are separate from others. Is the dog tired or am I tired? Does my mom need to calm down or do I need to calm down?

3. She is learning the difference between words that are mean and words that do not say what she wants to hear.

4. When her mother responds with a gentle, firm tone in words that simply explain why, she is learning to think about her actions.

5. Wendy is learning to feel comfort in the knowledge that her mother is not only responsive to her needs but is also in charge.

All of this from a short conversation!  The lessons are learned when they are experienced over and over, again. 

A faith - filled parent is teaching more than vocabulary and conversation. The time given to conversation, the gentleness and persistence, the guidance and forgiveness, of everyday conversion speaks of the faith given to parents and shared with their children. 

 For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. (Matthew 10:20, ESV)