Parenting; Strange Words

This phrase is from a parent who turns his strange words into posters. Go ahead and click through on the picture. You are almost guaranteed to find something in this poster gallery that sounds familiar. 

I am thinking of purchasing this one as I am almost certain I said something like it to at least one of my two children. The context behind the words seems vaguely familiar. 

Throughout their childhood, our kids are navigating an unfamiliar world. Babies don't come with a user manual and children don't have a built-in reference app for rules for healthy living:

"Siri, should I put on my underwear before tattling to mom?"

Children just live. They try things, they act on the moment, they observe and absorb. As parents we need to give them nearly constant feedback. They use this feedback to develop rules for living in our world.

The words about underwear are not actually about underwear - they are about calming down, about prioritizing, about monitoring behavior. Being able to maintain the presence of mind to finish dressing is being able to stay calm and keep a clear head. 

You will not hurt your children by correcting inappropriate behavior. You will not crush their self-esteem by taking away toys and asking for quiet at a restaurant or in church. You will not scar a child for life if you take him kicking and screaming out of the store. You will not ruin her creative spirit if you insist on technology quiet times. And you will not be seen as a "bad" parent if you demand that your child show respect to others - including you. 

Instead, you will be showing your children how to live a healthy, happy life. You will be teaching them self-regulation skills that aid in learning. And you will be reinforcing the Word of God that lives in their hearts. 

Blessings to you as you speak strange words!    

Parenting: Conversation

This clip reviews research that shows how important it is for children to be in conversation with family members. Young children need to hear around 2000 words per hour in order to develop the vocabulary needed for successful learning. If they are in conversation, the language parts of the brain will grow. This kind of brain growth will not happen from watching television or even from playing educational games on a computer. 

God hard-wired children to seek attention from parents and this attention makes learning possible. In conversation with parents and other family members, children learn procedures, social skills, language and faith.

While babies and toddlers depend on parent talk to teach them language, even school age children need conversation in order to develop learning skills, listening skills, and family values. Later, these conversations will be lurking in the minds of teenage children who seemingly have forgotten how to talk to parents.

Read a book. Tell a story. Ask a question. Share your faith.

Parenting:Problem Solving

For the children of today, being videotaped is a normal occurrence. Some children see their parent's phone as often as they see a face. I am not sure if this is a good thing, but I did notice something good about this particular clip.

Dad was too busy catching the moment for youtube to stop and solve the problem for his daughter.

I know this is a good thing.

I get so thirsty watching this clip I just want to show her how to do it. But, she is developing her brain. God created children to learn by watching others, by trying things, by learning from what works and what doesn't work.

If we interrupt this process, too often, we tell the child that learning is about someone else giving you the answers. When that happens, children begin to get frustrated when they can't make something work right away.

It's okay to let children explore - even if they are temporarily going in the wrong direction. They need to learn what doesn't work as well as what works.

I suspect this dad eventually put down his phone and helped his daughter get a drink. Sometimes we need to do this for our children.

There is value in allowing them to explore and solve the problem under their own power.

Think: Find the Answer, not Give the Answer

Resource: KFUO Radio Library

I will be a guest on Faith and Family produced by Worldwide KFUO. The host, Andy Bates, and I will be discussing creative play and brain development on Monday, November 3, 2014, at 10:00am, central time.

I want to point you to KFUO’s On-demand programs. These are archived sessions you can listen to at your convenience. Topics include advice for fathers, special needs children, using movies to teach, children and mobile devices, recommendations for apps, and much more!

I especially enjoyed a discussion on language development and the importance of reading to your children. 

The provocative title of this session is “How to Nurture Children with Theological Language."

Resource:Singing!

Check out this free app from Raising Children Network. It us a great way to introduce more music to your child's routine.

Music is strongly connected to language and cognitive development. Music helps us to make and retrieve long term memories. Children who sing have better reading, math, and thinking skills.

This app can help you sing with your children if you feel a bit shy about belting out a favorite nursery rhyme. For older children, play the oldies station or the Christian music station and teach them to sing along with your favorites. No one has to be embarrassed in the car - or at least everyone is a captive audience.

Think how important it is to have faith songs tucked away in long term memory. They will reappear at just the right time.

Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. (James 5: 13b, ESV)

Share Your Faith: Imitators

You became imitators of us and of the Lord. I Thessalonians 1:6a

To imitate means to copy.  The baby in this video wants to imitate Dad. This is how babies learn. They watch their parents and brother and sisters, copy what they see, and with practice they get better.

We all learn this way. We imitate our parents, our grandparents, our teachers, and other people we admire.

In this Bible verse, Paul and his missionary friends are reminding members of a church that we should imitate the Lord.

The best way to know what the Lord would do is to read the Bible. When we read God’s word, listen to God’s word, pray God’s word, and sing God’s word, we learn how to imitate Jesus. This is how God teaches us and how God makes our faith grow.

When you have an assignment at school the teacher wants you to do the work on your own. But, when God gives you an assignment, He helps you get the work done! When you read the Bible the Holy Spirit is working in you to develop your faith.

Make plans for this week to spend time with the Bible. Talk about God’s Word with your parents. The Holy Spirit will work in you to help you to be an imitator of the Lord.

Parenting: Technology

As an early childhood teacher of many years and a student of cognitive psychology, this picture makes me more than a little nervous. It is not so much what the children are doing - technology is a part of our world and they are exploring and learning.

What bothers me is what they are NOT doing. They are not moving around, they are not breathing fresh air and integrating sensory information, they are not talking, they are not playing with each other. All of these activities are essential for healthy development and learning.

It is interesting to note that when Steve Jobs, founder of Apple, was asked how his children liked the iPad he responded: "They haven't used it. We limit how much technology our kids use at home."

I am not one of those who believe that technology ruins brain development. I believe that technology encourages a different kind of development. 

I am not one of those who believe that technology stifles creativity. I believe technology can inspire as much creativity as crayons and paint - you just need to find apps that give the equivalent of a blank piece of paper instead of a coloring book page with lines. 

However, I do know that God's plan for how children learn has not changed because we have developed technology for even the youngest among us to use. Children still need to talk, to run around, to create things with found objects, to imagine they are someone else. They need to sing, shout, and argue. They need to make mistakes and get into trouble. They need to problem solve and learn to get past failure.

They need to play.

Technology is great, but don't let it replace childhood.