Parenting: Praising Children

Praising children is a natural thing for parents to do. We see a good behavior and we want to reward it. There are both good and bad ways to praise children.

For some children, too much praise can create a dependence on affirmation. These children will come to need encouragement for everything they do. 

For other children, too much praise can just become noise and will be ignored. At this point praise becomes ineffective.

Praise that emphasizes performance, can backfire. Children constantly praised for being the best, scoring the highest, or for perfection will develop anxiety as they wonder if they can always be the best.

This article gives great advice on improving your game when it comes to praising children. Among the suggestions are the following:

Show you are paying attention:

            "I notice that you . . . " 

Emphasize the hard work:

            "Your extra time spent practicing paid off."

Start a conversation:

            "Tell me more about this project."

I would also add to the list the suggestion that you encourage children to be thankful to God for the talents and abilities they enjoy. No matter how you choose to praise your children, be sure they understand that you love them – no matter what.