Creative or cruel?

Clip of an interesting discipline technique

So what do you think of this discipline technique? Was it creative? Was it effective? Was it cruel? Would you use it?

I like the idea of disciplining based on the principal of empathy instead of merely punishing an incident. These parents understand that their child needed to learn empathy not just be punished for a bullying incident. 

I like that the discipline was a teaching experience instead of simply a punishment that has little connection to the behavior.

I like that the discipline was not done out of anger or revenge, but for the purpose of teaching.

But I am not sure I would recommend this to other parents.

 

What do you think?

Parenting Matters!

Parenting is the most important job we will ever have, yet, we go into it with little or no training! This parenting class will show you God’s plan for helping you to raise loving, smart, capable, and resilient children. We will discuss many parenting topics, and the class will be open to topics parents raise. This class will work for parents of children of any age. Come to learn how faith helps with parenting and come to connect with other parents who feel the same. Faith Lutheran Church and School, Sunday mornings at 9:30 in the Music room, starting October 4, 2015.

Youth: Church and Resilience

Building resilience in children and youth is a hot parenting topic. Research and experience are showing us that children are best served when they develop the ability to come back from failure or hardship - not when their lives are made easy for them.

Another thing that research shows is that young people with a strong alignment to church show more resilience. 

Strong alignment includes these factors:

1. Church attendance for more than worship. (Amen for youth group, confirmation class, and Bible class!)

2. A mentor in the church (Amen for youth workers, teachers, elders, and pastors!)

3. The experience of the church helping solve a personal dilemma. (Amen for fellowship, prayer and scripture reading!)

4. Other family members attending regularly. (Amen for parents!) 

Parenting: Prevent Bullying

No one wants his or her child to experience cyberbullying. No one.

But, how often do we stop and think about the possibility that our son or daughter might engage in this behavior?

Bullying is a sin. Our children are sinners, and they live in a sinful world that models this behavior. Any child is susceptible to the sin of cyber bullying because to stop oneself requires that a teen stop and think before clicking the send button.

Oops! The part of the brain that monitors decision making, that slows us down, that helps us to use empathy, is still in the development stages until adulthood. In addition to this, the emotion part of the brain can be in overdrive.

No surprise to parents of teens!

Before social media that traveled with us everywhere, teen interactions were a bit more monitored. Parents, teachers, youth workers, grandparents or other adults might be near enough to hear a verbal exchange and put on the brakes. In a cyber world, no one is there to intervene. 

The Rethinkapp is a great tool to help your children to slow down on social media just enough to stop and think before sending. It pops up with a warning that works nearly 95% of the time in stopping an offensive text or post from being sent. It does this by separating the emotion from the action just long enough to allow a better decision.

You gotta love an app that encourages discernment!

Children: Three Generations of Play

This clip has been created by Nature Valley and is both sweet and disturbing. It starts out sweet as we hear about play activities from two generations. It becomes disturbing we realize that today's children focus on indoor activities involving phones and computer games.

Take some time to try this with your family. Your children would love to hear what their grandparents and parents did for fun. Then ask them the same question. 

Then think about trying to go a week without tech-based entertainment. Not because "tech-tainment" is bad, but because there is so much more out there, and our children need to learn to practice self-discipline. There is so much children's brains learn to do when children play outside, or face-to-face. 

Plus, they would love to play with you!

Parenting: Blessings of Being Mean

 

12 Ways to be the meanest mom in the world

There are many of these “mean parent” posts floating around the internet. I especially like this one posted on my cousin’s Facebook page.

What are the advantages for the child of a mean parent?

Self-regulation – the ability to control attention, body movements and emotions. Essential for learning? You better believe it!

Humility – children with humility are not burdened by having to be the first or be the worst. Instead, they are free to think about others and other things.

Resilience – we all need to learn to survive what life drops in our lap. This starts at an early age.

Emotional competence – can’t be learned unless children are allowed to experience all emotions.

Empathy- being able to see things from the perspective of another is a social AND academic skill.

Repentance and forgiveness – blessings from our faith that give us the opportunity to show children God’s plan for learning from our mistakes.