When we
think about readying children for their future place in the work world we
usually think about academic skills such as math and science, or perhaps organization
or punctuality. The Wall Street Journal
surveyed around 900 executives in 2015 and found the skill mentioned most often
as being essential to success in the work place was communication.
This does
not mean that we dump the homework; academics are necessary, too. However,
communication skills are first learned at home and your interaction with your
child gives many opportunities for you to teach and model these skills. When
you take time for discussion you show your child that communication is
important.
Communication
skills may be weakening because our children spend much more time interacting
with a screen and less time interacting with humans. This is especially an
issue for younger children who are laying down the foundations of
communication. How often does your child see the back of your phone? When
infants and toddlers see parents spending significant amounts of time staring
at a screen their brains register this activity as important. If you want to promote good communication
skills in your children, start with a commitment to put the phone away when
they are in the area.
Here are four quick things to keep in mind to promote
good communication skills:
FACE
Encourage
your children to communicate, whenever possible, face-to-face, or at least
voice-to-voice like over the phone. This communication is more accurate and
less likely to cause confusion. Help them to see the benefits of social media
and texting but don’t let them think these forms of communication can replace face-to-face
communication – especially on important issues.
RESPECT
Because we
engage in less direct communication it is not unusual to find children who need
to be taught basic manners and respectful body language. It may not be necessary to refer to every adult as “sir”
or “ma’am” but eye contact, full attention, and patient listening are a must. Model this for your children and expect them
to perform this for you and for others.
EMPATHY
In a world
that engages in less human contact children are finding it a challenge to
develop empathy. Empathy is more than understanding someone’s feelings, it’s
about being able to see their perspective and imagine what they might want from
a conversation. When we maintain empathy in an argument we work toward
problem-solving rather than tossing opinions back and forth. Few social media
discussions promote the kind of understanding that human interaction has the
potential to do.
VOCABULARY
When
children are working on the development of language they are vocabulary
sponges. If we use more words, and use them more precisely, then children will
develop better ways of expressing themselves when they experience strong
emotions. Children who use proper grammar and a large number of words in their
speaking will do better in reading and writing in their school work. In fact,
vocabulary improvement is the best way to improve standardized test scores.
Look for opportunities to replace screens with conversation. Give your children the opportunity to practice telling about their day or wrestle with a tough problem. Share your thinking, along with your faith and give your children skills for the future.
